I’m moving on from my workplace of 11 years and while this is a change I really wanted to make, I also feel very strange about it now?!
I started here when I had just turned 25, and now I am turning 37. Where did the time go? I’ve really valued the friendships I’ve made here and my colleagues are great people, but I came to the realization that with just under 6 months left before my sabbatical, it was time to make a more permanent change and leave my current office.
I’m staying in the same position but handling some different aspects, something I haven’t done in oh, about 7 years?? But the change is necessary and important for both my mental health and personal growth. I need to take more proactive steps towards a future that I can believe in.
It’s been…a lot lately. The return to the workplace is making me realize a whole bunch of truths, namely that I need a big change and my sabbatical won’t be coming soon enough.
Things only change if you change them.
Also, I hate working in the workplace and I find it very distracting. And the time? Oh lord. My time management has gone to hell and back, namely I spend all of it sitting at work and then rushing around at home trying to get all of my life stuff done, like my animals, showering, preparing lunches, etc. Fun times.
Oats had a difficult week last week- he was spooky as hell, seeing things in every single corner of the arena, slamming on the brakes, half rearing, etc. I know him well enough now that this behaviour is seasonal (unfortunately or fortunately…) and it too will pass, but damn, I just wanted a fun pony to ride? Likely there is a big tie-in to his disease and the medication, as this only became a bigger issue the past two years he was diagnosed. 😦 blows either way.
And then he was foot-perfect at my Thursday lesson! Such a lovely little dude, we jumped cross rails one-handed and had the funnest time, which was great b/c mentally I was NOT in a good place (thanks, work). And then I free longed him on Friday and he came up lame. GREEATTT
But no swelling, heat, etc so I chalked it up to stiffness, and his leasor longed him on Sunday and he looked fine. I rode him last night, and while he was still stiff and moving quite ‘flat’ going to the right, he did improve and worked out of it, leading me to believe that it is indeed stiffness?
His leasor is going to ride tonight.
I don’t think the weather has been helping though- it’s been miserable. Freezing cold, unseasonably cold, raining, snowing, wind at 100km/hr almost every day? WTF? Just such a shit spring. No day is a respite. Our allergies also went completely bananas, and poor Gidget had the worst weekend with her ‘reverse sneezing’- honking and gasping allllllll day and the nasal spray we use didn’t work 😦 WTF life. Thanks guys…
Things were going fine, until they suddenly weren’t. Tucker stopped eating for two weeks, his longest stint yet. My stress fractures got aggravated and I was limping again. 8 months of progress/trying to heal = over. And I have a race this weekend?! Yay. 😦 Eff my life.
My feet also have the return of chronic arch pain, so love that too. GOD damn this fall has been tricky.
At least we have some fun things to do, like going to a beer fest this past weekend (it was great!) and planning lots of fun horsey events with buddies.
Lessons have been going very well, had a nice jump lesson on Saturday where I couldn’t find a distance to save my life, ha and a WE lesson on Sunday where we upped the technical requests of Oats and it went fairly well! Tough tough, damn those L-shaped poles backing through…It’s our toughest. Plus I couldn’t pry my fingers off the garrocha pole to be able to grip the ring. At all. Like…If I tried I would drop the pole. I suspect it’s because I have incredibly tiny hands?!!
Something to work on!
No more riding in the fields I suspect- the rainy season is definitely upon us. Tucker did eat his rabbit food last night- I watched him! First time in weeks!!! It’s small progress, but progress nonetheless.
We are also made to go back to work full time, so no more WFH allowed. SIGH. Why can’t we be trusted? Oh that’s right, because they hold all employees with a degree of suspicion and mistrust. It’s been making me reconsider who I work for these days, to be honest. I would like to be treated with respect and value, and I do not feel that way. I have been very clear about this with others, so I guess we’ll see what happens next.
Last Thursday’s dressage lesson was alll lateral work and it was pretty tough, but the good thing is that it doesn’t get Oats too sweaty, which is great because he is ALL FUR and sweating his butt off! Poor Oaty! He gets clipped (with dorm, for safety) this weekend. Thank god, because it takes forever to cool/dry him out at night these days.
Have a crazy few weeks going down at work so have to limit the blog writing, but in the meantime we’ve been doing lots of dressage rides, zero jump lessons, and lots of working equitation lessons too!
We have also been riding around in the fields- not so much in the big field as you cannot get to it at the bottom anymore, you can only get to it from the top of the stables, so I usually just ride and then zip out to the lower fields. Today though, big field (the one he went kind of bananas in and galloped around bucking, eeek) has my name on it!!
We also rode in shorts the other day (regretfully, ouch my skin) and had some fun while Ian videotaped us jumping the small fences I put out in the field with his help. Every year, without fail, I am the only one to put jumps out- so at least this year I get to enjoy it!!!! Unlike the absolute disaster of last year, which shall not be named, ugh.
And apparently another heatwave is coming?? We have been very, very lucky to not have smoke here. I am very appreciative of that.
This isn’t happening this year. Man! What a downer. Photo from last year.
Things are getting shut down, my work is ramping up to a 7-day-a week schedule as well as working 8-7pm each day (except I guess, on weekends??)…And yours truly is reaching a grouch factor that is in the stratosphere.
I guess grouchy, or just wanting to cry. I oscillate between both.
All the races are cancelled, many of my colleagues trips are also gone- to be rescheduled. At least they can reschedule that, phew!! I am wondering what will happen to mine in April.
Things are so far out of my control, I’m not sure what I can control at this point (my emotions?>???). My injuries are flaring up, my work is out of control, my happy future plans are now cancelled or really in question. That seems like minor, petty bullshit, but still- it’s hard.
Oats was sound last night though! Chalk one up to the good guys? 😉 I have a paltry piece of good news and I am going to cling to it with extreme desperation. Ha.
Also I had a doughnut today and it was great. So, the stress eating is going awesome!!
Well it’s officially ‘Snowpocalypse’ over here on the Island! White winter for sure. We have about a foot of snow in our neighbourhood by the water. I put my big treads on – the Saucony Peregrine shoes- and jogged to work today. It kind of sucked, it’s tiring to run in snow and while I made an effort to run in the street, it’s still a tough slog. Oh well, a good cardio workout 🙂
Happier this year!
I’m not sure if I will be able to make it out to the stables though- two days off and I start getting VERY itchy to go and see my dear pony! I know he is being taken care of and is safe though.
The critters are enjoying the snow- Tucker was playing in it yesterday! A marked difference from last year, when he sat angrily in the snow and it piled up on top of him, hahah.
And I had one frightening incident (side note- why the DRAMA lately? jesus christ I am so OVER it). I was leading Oats up the hill to the stables, when the fellow rider in front of me who was leading her horse- the horse paused slightly and LASHED OUT her hind hoof in a huge kick. She kicked my coffee mug straight out of my hands and it went flying! The horse wears steel hind shoes too, so jesussss I got incredibly lucky. SO lucky that it wasn’t my hand that got broken, or my freaking face.
We both never saw it coming. That was the most chilling part. Usually you can read something happening by body language- they get spooked, antsy, angry or pissy. The horse looked chill, didn’t even raise her head and BOOM!! Kicked. I have been around horses for over 20 years and I have NEVER been kicked in my life. Until now, I guess? It scared the bejeezus out of both of us. The owner was really sorry- and it’s 100% not her fault, at all. It was just a really scary incident.
It was also a wake up call to me, to be very aware and careful with handling horses. When you are around them this much, you get complacent. Until something really serious happens, like Monday.
First the dog attack, and then getting kicked by a horse. World, please stop.
I would like a word with whoever controls the weather: It SUCKS! Okay, I’ve been saying at least it’s not cold, but damn…The endless rain/wind either separately or together is getting to be a real drain *(ha). The indoor arena is flooded, I feel like I need to build a freaking ark when I go outside. Yeesh…
Oats is so over it.
This weekend was kind of a bust when it came to running. Partly due to the weather (lousy), partly due to me being a dummy and kind of hurting my knee in an attempt to heal it (used horse technology, a BEMER wrap, setting on high on my knee. Felt good and then felt terrible..shit!). I felt hurty and uninspired. Stupid me, thinking I could heal myself. Note to self: Don’t put it on high the first time. Work up to it!
Oats was good though! Had a nice jump lesson on Thursday, took Friday off, and rode Sat/Sun, flat on Sat, and some x-pole trot jump schooling on Sunday. He was really good, despite the absolute tornado that was going on… He did have 1 spook at a deer that went scrambling up the embankment, and he knocked me straight off the mounting block. Thanks, pony! Jeesh.
Oh well at least he was a lovely boy to ride. I also helped divert some of the rain that is flooding the arena by shoveling gravel against a board. And hung around to watch a horse at the barn get worked by an excellent local trainer- very educational and good to watch!
Otherwise we met up with a buddy for a beer at Phillips and then checked out the light display at Centennial square. It was lovely! We caught it just in time too, it closed officially on Sunday.
Today it is pouring rain, for what feels like the millionth day in a row. Boo! Bareback easy ride for me.
I love the photos Christi took. I miss summer! (though I don’t miss the drama-filled shitshow that summer turned into…)
After a week fraught with stress, I had a really solid, nice weekend. It was good, relaxing, stuff to do but not TOO much, you know? A fine balance with me. I had a dressage lesson with Sam on Friday and Oats was sassy, and we had to work HARD but it was a far better lesson than last week. I felt like he was more flexible, and not quite so stiff. His left lead canter is still a work in progress, but he was trying, he really was. He wasn’t misbehaving or anything, I could tell it was just tough for him.
So, things to work on. I know that his canter is what is holding us back from Second Level right now- just too much to fix/try to adjust at this point…Oh well, onwards right?
Saturday I had a nice ride, flatwork but working hard at it! The vet came and gave me wormer for Oats – he was going to do it, but I said it would be easier if I did. Oats HATED IT and was in a sad, deflated state after. Nothing looks good, can’t eat, bad taste in my mouth..wah wah poor pony.
Then we had a show- we went to see BRONCHO perform (most of their stuff was from the album Bad Behaviour) and they rocked! Such a fun set. I’m glad my husband sprung for tickets. I was on the fence- not sure if I would like them enough, since they are pretty new to me. But it was super fun!
Sunday I did something fairly ambitious- ran to the barn from home (it was raining in my face the entire way. Joy.), rode (bareback! It was fun and chill. Just what we needed), and then I ran home. It was a lot of running (a cool close to 25k, whewww) but at least it stopped raining and the sun came out! Sure didn’t help the absolutely wicked chafing I experienced…Ouch….that one needs more time to heal. Lesson learned about jogging in wet tights. Bring a spare shirt and shorts. At least it was very mild out?!
From last spring- I hope we continue to have mild weather~
We even had tacos for dinner and went to Dairy Queen to get dessert- Peanut Buster Parfaits! And on that note- I couldn’t believe how expensive they were now. 1 cost a cool $6.50. Can you believe it? It wasn’t THAT good. Pfft. I won’t go again. Not worth it…Plus the clientele at DQ, in a pretty normal/ok location close to downtown, was ….yikes. Street involved, druggy, a sex worker was wandering around. It was about dinnertime? Hm.
I am dealing with a lot of rebound hunger today though, ha. Despite my dinner + dessert!
Dude, this week…For a short week, it sure hasn’t felt short. Work was an absolute shitshow. Everyone working flat-out all hands on deck style. While not physically tiring, I was SO.TIRED. by yesterday…brain tired I guess? Just fried. I know I’m not the only one, pretty much everyone feels like this.
Some days you ride better without hands. This remains true…To this day!
I also had a dentist appointment, huge event, and riding lesson yesterday. I am mentally tired.
Dear god, this week!
Thankfully, Oats had his lessor resume lessons for November, so I was able to ride Monday, she rode Tuesday, and he had Wednesday off. That left me with time to stay later at work and not have to worry about trying to get to the barn. I had my lesson last night, and while my day/tacking up was clumsy (literally everything I touched fell into the dirt. EVERYTHING. Helmet, saddle pad, bridle, horse boots, my gloves…everything I touched fell on the ground)…The lesson itself was really good!!! 🙂
We worked on a series of x-poles in a bounce gymnastic and when that was going well, we moved it to NO HANDS people! I was terrified- even though Oats is a saint, I have a lot of trouble relinquishing control, particularly in front of the jump. I just want to grab! I ended up trying a few times and failing, until I finally managed to let go of the reins a good stride or two before the first x-pole and it went perfectly!
We then worked on a small course and all was well. What a little lovebug.
Dressage lesson tonight, and I hope it goes better than last week. He just felt really stiff and resistant on the left rein last week. UGH. It sucked, given our general rides/jump lessons have been so smooooth.
This Saturday we finally attended the annual Oktoberfest celebration at the Edelweiss. We are right near it, so I’m almost ashamed to say that we never went! It was well time this year to check it out.
Spooky decorations at work. I love them!
And how did it go? It was a lot of fun, but to be honest, this is the second ‘Oktoberfest-style’ event I have gone to (the other one is at the Public Market), and while I enjoyed myself, it was CRAZY EXPENSIVE to attend. So…that’s kind of a naturally self-limiting thing for me. We do too many events, horse shows, races, travels, weekends away to really fork out what came to close to $200 for one night.
The tickets themselves are $45 for non-members (general public), and the bratwurst dinners were $19/ea, the schnitzel dinners were $23/ea, a pretzel was $3.50 (when last weekend in Kelowna, we bought pretzels at a brewery for $2…)…A pitcher of beer (not good beer) was $23/ea, apple strudel was $3.50…You get the idea. It was nuts expensive.
So between the two of us, we were at $90 before we stepped foot in the door. Kind of rich for my blood? And we definitely wanted to do the full-meal deal right, you don’t just go for the dancing and entertainment (and it WAS GREAT!).
So, aside from my griping about the crazy expense, it was a really fun night and people were so friendly and entertaining! We got to watch the Edelweiss dancers, and then got to dance ourselves. 🙂 I missed that. My friend was telling me that Oktoberfest was originally to celebrate a wedding, in it’s origin, which I can totally get- it was like a more-fun wedding!
I didn’t have a late night, because I had…a race! The next day! Ooooh. And how did that one go? Well, we will have to wait until I have some photos for a race recap.