Before you fall apart

Things have been really nuts lately. Had a very challenging week last week that culminated in…

A lousy cold, that I STILL have this week

Getting a COVID booster and flu shot in the same arm, same day (terrible idea)

Putting my poor rabbit down

And this week, I ran out of my allergy medication and thought I’d be ok. WRONG. Immediately had flu-like symptoms yesterday (chills/body aches/sore and swollen throat/crazy phlegm) and today was woken up by insane sinus pain. So bad that it woke me up!

So I tried to get a renewal, only to be turned down by the pharmacists because they couldn’t be arsed. Thanks, guys. You are freaking useless. And I KNOW you can renew prescriptions now! God.

Basically, the entire weekend was a write-off, starting on Tuesday essentially with a sore throat…I should have known. It’s a shame, because the month was going so well.

We enjoyed beer events, wine tastings, races, horsey events, and great weather. It all came crashing down last week, and the weather joined in too- we are not in a drought any longer, rather it’s dropped to 10 deg and blasting wind/rain? Well, I know we had it coming but ouch, this stings. 😦

Onwards and upwards though as we prepare to leave on our big sabbatical. Only 6 days left- can you believe it? Then it’s adios, amigos!

Wow, what happened to the summer?

After I left my last blog entry, it basically fell off a cliff!

Things were very busy, and lots of opportunity to blog but I just didn’t have the desire I suppose?

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We went on a really nice summer holiday to visit my family in the Interior of BC, where we enjoyed camping at Christina Lake, kayaking, hiking, running, horseback riding, and biking/running the Myra Canyon Trestles, a trip to the Kangaroo Farm and then…COVID when we were in Vancouver.

We also enjoyed a fantastic dinner and wine tasting at Mission Hill, courtesy of my parents. It was divine!

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Yep, the big Covid hit us, pretty hard. Not unexpected, as my sister was sick when she had dinner/visited with us in Kelowna but I was still fairly surprised and thought it was just terrible allergies when we were in Vancouver (running the sea wall, going out for drinks, out for dinner…greeeat…). Nope, COVID.

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That knocked us on our butts for a while, and when I was feeling better I was working from home, and then back to work, where work proceeded to knock me on my butt again too!

Man, sometimes you can’t win!?

More chaos part 2?

Went a touch radio silent due to a lot of different factors all colliding at once, unfortunately:

Man, bring me back to this!

Major stress at work/burnout

Bad flareup of my chronic disease, ruinining an entire week of my life again

Oats went lame and I had a total meltdown over it

Gidget had a really bad flare up of her reverse sneezing and went into dog-shock for a few days. It was really hard to see 😦

So yeah…It was a very challenging period of weeks for me, Oats and the family.

Some bright sides: Oats lameness was temporary! He had a small abscess (in the same spot as his 2018 big abscess that summer) and now he is good to go. We even had a working equitation lesson on Sunday and he was a champ though I definitely felt quite rusty.

Work is ok for now and I am counting down the days until I am off on holidays!

My disease is back in remission until the next flare-up, and Gidget has a vet appointment today to figure out our next plan of attack. I don’t really expect that they will have any answers but…We made it over 3 weeks ago when we desperately needed it, so I still am hoping for some kind of solution or treatment for her symptoms.

I guess even through the blackest days, there is still hope?!

Also a bummer, but one I really knew was going to happen: My jump trainer who I have been with for over a decade (?!!) is not travelling to coach us anymore. I totally get it, no issue from me but it’s also a bit sad to see the end of an era.

I’ve reassessed mine and Oats relationships after his serious injury and jumping for competitions just doesn’t seem that worth it anymore? We’ve shown for so many years and it’s not always about ‘higher/faster/stronger’ for me– it’s about enjoying the journey and our relationship these days. I still love horse showing, but it’s not all what it’s cracked up to be, you know?

A new year? (somehow keeping it going)

I don’t feel particularly hopeful, but I guess some hope is better than no hope right? My NYE was good and a terrible disaster. I had to work a bit late, was at the stables rehabbing Oats a bit late, and then drank wayyyyyyy too much in an effort to catch up on the so called ‘good times’ featuring a party of two- me and my husband.

NOT so jolly anymore…

After about 3 daiquiris, I thought it would be a great idea to open up a bottle of really nice sparkling wine. Narrator’s overtone: IT WAS A BAD IDEA.

So I ran in the new year listening to fireworks over the sound of my own torrential vomit. Yay? And the fun continues! Not content with suffering a night of misery, I then began vomiting anew in the morning. I had to rehab Oats and it was just a struggle to sit upright without puking. I puked in my sink.

My husband drove me to the barn and tacked Oats up, while I sat miserably on a chair nearby. He did struggle with the many buckles and straps and gates and halter and chains and boots, so I stepped in. And good thing I brought my helmet down to the arena! Oats took GREAT offense to him sitting heavily in the saddle (after mounting from the wrong side…) and immediately tried to turf him off by bucking at the halt! Yikes! I had visions of my mom falling off like a sack of potatoes and shattering her humerus, so I gingerly sloshed over to him and grabbed the reins. Oats chilled, husband was ok, so we led them around for a bit and then he couldn’t get Oats to walk indepdendently, so I hopped on and sloshed away for the rest of the ride.

Proud to say I didn’t puke but it wasn’t pretty. Yeeesh.

So, that is the story of how I am taking the month off January from alcohol. It made me too sick, it is very expensive, and I don’t like how puffy and gross my face is looking recently due to my overindulging. Time to change!!!

Nelson is great in the summer!

After spending time in Kelowna, we headed up to Nelson to do a little exploring, trail running and eating/drinking. And it was fabulous! Very hot, sunny and gorgeous out. We stayed at a cool hotel downtown- the Adventure Hotel- which is pet friendly. Great because we had both critters with us 🙂

We went on a trail run on the Trans Canada Trail, and there were SO many thimbleberries!! Very tempting, and I guess, tempting for bears as well…

Since it was quite hot in Nelson, we did the run in the morning, and did a little bushwacking and found an old railway (still had the ties), followed it down to the lake, while getting eaten alive by mosquitoes. It was a gorgeous little interlude.

Then we got back to the room and the sun was very intense. We grabbed a drink/shower, and went for a walk along the waterfront with Gidget. It turned out to be a pretty long walk and WOW I had a terrible headache by the end of it. Turns out Ian and I both got a bit of sunstroke that day….I felt awful for the entire day. Never shook it.

We then went to a local brewery and enjoyed a beer, and by that time I was developing a miserable headache…

We chilled in the room for a bit, feeling like crap, haha. Then we went to this cool Hungarian restaurant and the food they had was pretty great! We only went out to eat at places that we could sit alone, nobody close by, and outdoors. This one fit the spot!

The next day we had to pack up and begin the loooooooong drive back to the Island. Of course we had ferry drama- but we made the 6pm!! if you can believe it!! And we were all pretty darned tired, Gidget, Ian, Tucker and me. 🙂

Living with endometriosis

During a flare-up. Bloating for weeks and it’s terrible.

Me normally, no flare-up.

So yeah, I inadvertently got diagnosed (unofficially) last summer. The extreme pain got too great for me to handle and I was desperate. The fun thing about endometriosis is that you can get it at anytime, at any age apparently. Mine got triggered by having the Mirena IUD for some reason, and then it was a full-on ride to pain town for years. 😦 It does not respond to painkillers, at all. I have burned a hole in my stomach from trying to use ibuprofen with Tylenol to try to function, and it never worked.

On bad days I am vomiting in pain with extreme bloating and discomfort. I have chronic fatigue with terrible back pain with flare-up days and my stomach is in a turmoil with IBS-like symptoms. It’s miserable.

On good days I can function, I am not dizzy and incredibly fatigued, my stomach looks NORMAL and sometimes even *gasp* Good??

Sadly, even with a new medication (Visanne) that I started taking about 5 months ago, I don’t have all good days. It started off terrible- horrible periods that hemorrhaged, awful cramps, bloating, back pain, exhaustion- and then for about 2 blissful months I had nothing! It felt incredible!

And then it immediately relapsed and now I have bad weeks again. 😦 the doctor I am seeing- who is a specialist- said to hang on and it should be getting better, but so far it has NOT gotten better. My bad days aren’t as bad as they were, but they still suck a 100000% worse than those good 2 months I had.

I am starting to wonder if Visanne is enough, or I should start looking at other options, like a surgical intervention. This is a life-altering disease, and causes severe, chronic pain and discomfort. I hate living with it, and it greatly affects my personal quality of life.

Letting the dust settle

Ah, opportune as it is SO dusty in the indoor arena right now! As a follow-up to my extreme ambivalence this week…I did have my jump lesson! And I am not switching lesson days! Even better 🙂

From two weeks ago. Oats not even really bothering with his feet… Low I guess? 

This week has it’s fair share of challenges (see- people freaking out about COVID-19 and trying to tell me it is literally the end of the world, worse than the Spanish Flu as per Wikipedia…) It’s not, and I work in the HEALTH SYSTEM on THIS VERY TOPIC so…yeah. I don’t recommend trying to scare me, this is what I am doing each day, every day. Cite BCCDC or CDC or gtfo.

I of course, struggled mightily with allergies and boom! Horrible sore throat on Wed, so swollen I could not swallow anymore. I felt miserable. Didn’t ride (though I wanted to..) and went home and took meds and lay on the couch.

Thursday felt better actually! Rode, and while my warm up was not good- Oats was really pissy and balky, and off my leg. I had to tune him up under the watchful eye of my trainer, as I want to get really pully and pushy with him when he is like this. But on course, he was great! I think this is a symptom of me not riding much this week (sick..) and his beginner lesson on Tues= No, I don’t WANNA!!

My throat hurt again today (so like, one day on, one day off???). UGH. Work is bananas (See COVID-19), the weather has been absolutely bone-chilling and just wet and windy and really raw, and I’m just over it all this week. I have engaged in the pettiest, most irritating little bunfights even.

Riding tonight though! Easy day for us both 🙂 I do love my boy.

Ow, my sinuses

I’m well into week three of the death flu, UUGHH. While I am fundamentally ok, I have had ongoing terrible sinus pain, headaches, crushing fatigue, post-nasal drip and subsequent coughing since…oh, Friday? I HATE IT. When does the sickness go away? Jesus.

Oats got a Christmas treat from his big brother Donato! 🙂

I also had a real run of parties starting last week- and I love parties!! I went to all of them, and all my holiday lunches as well, and by Saturday, after party #2 in two days, I could barely get out of bed. I was flat out exhausted. Dizzy, lightheaded, exhausted. I felt weird, like I’d been awake for 48 hours or something. I really do think it’s the flu that keeps dragging me back down, well into week three and freaking counting.

I basically got up, felt terrible, went riding (Oats was a freaking saint who kept me propped up on his back), came home, went back to bed, got up for my parents to come to dinner, entertained and felt completely wiped out, and went back to bed. And never really felt that much better ongoing to today. Yay.

Oats and Donato in the summer together! 

So I feel a bit grouchy and bummed that I feel so miserable STILL going into my vacation and holiday. Merry freaking Christmas to me, I want to dig my sinuses out of my face!!

Otherwise, terrible sickness aside, I had a fun weekend! Parties, horseback riding, nice weather one day, cold weather the next. Critters were good, lots of fun was had, along with great holiday junk food and booze. Yummy!

I even had a chance to do some jump schooling with ol’ Oaty yesterday and he was a good boy! I can’t call it my ‘homework’ because I cantered most of the fences- my homework day is trot only, and I have to be strict about it because it’s harder for me than cantering fences, which is kind of like cheating…Hah.

Bareback ride tonight, and 1 zillion chores to do after work. 1 day down to go!

What fiction is for

Phew this is a busy week- but not so for riding and working out! Just a ton of social/work obligations, due to the holiday season. Oats got ridden Monday by me, Tuesday he had his beginner’s lesson, Wed I rode again (and we did our ‘Homework day’ and fantastically flubbed two fences, and then picked up our socks and fixed it. Go figure, I hate doing homework days with an audience b/c it is SO bad sometimes, and hilarious. Oh well! Over, under or through eh?!), and then tonight his beginner rider takes my jump lesson because it is my organization’s Xmas party.

And yesterday I took my dad out for lunch to the Public Market (he had the spaghetti and meatballs from Roast, and I had the side salad kale vegan cesar salad and a side of mac and cheeze, both of which were enormous! I was stuffed and couldn’t finish the mac ‘n’ cheeze at all!!), and today I have another lunch date at Dobosala. Great value from the Very Good Butchers though, would recommend.

And then tomorrow I have another office party at night, so no riding for me Thur/Fri at all! Busy busy. I still have some sinus pain and coughing/snorking a LOT which is pissing me off royally…It has now been TWO WEEKS of the hell-cold/flu. Fuck me.

From last winter. Doesn’t it look so serene and Christmassy? 

Otherwise it is ludicrously warm out, I am enjoying a real plethora of Xmas treats (cookies! hot chocolate! timbits! chocolate!) and am subsequently feeling the consequences of treats + no riding + no workout at lunch + multiple days in a row of eating out = chubby schlubby. Wowza!

Oh well, might as well enjoy it while it lasts eh??

Ha.

We were wild

I had a really nice weekend, despite the fact that I am still sort of in the grips of the ‘death cold’ and Ian picked it up as well, UGH. My energy levels aren’t great still, I am coughing up grossness and blowing my nose every two seconds still. BUT I was able to get off the couch to do things, so that is a big win!

And just in time too, because I had lots of plans for this weekend- I didn’t go ride on Friday, partly due to my extreme fatigue/sickness, but also I had to make approximately one million cookies to decorate as part of my holiday festivities for my friends on Saturday night. I had a few friends over and we had a blast! Cocktail hour with snacks/appetizers and mulled wine and mulled cider, which is my specialty, and then our activity- cookie decorating, and then dinner! It was such a lovely night.

I did get a lot of running and riding in, though my run on Saturday was short and miserable due to my endless coughing, nose blowing, and incredible fatigue. I only ran like 6k I think? And it felt tough.

I wasn’t super happy with my ride on Oats on Sunday- I got way too wrapped up in angsty perfection-chasing, which is NOT normal for me. I had to take a break, re-set my brain and let things go. This includes me clenching my jaw and feeling tense…Sheesh. Every time I think I’m past that kind of tension, it comes roaring back. No fair!

Oh well, I am planning on a fun bareback ride today, and in reality, I had a GREAT ride on Saturday- he felt like riding a cloud! Smooth, effortless, easy. I loved it.

Plus the weather has been fantastic- warm, I was running in shorts, and not even that rainy! How amazing is this, compared with the awful deep freeze of a few weeks ago? Aren’t we so lucky? I love it!!