She just likes to fight

So…so.

57104251_423393028444609_4028344363443552256_n

This isn’t happening this year. Man! What a downer. Photo from last year. 

Things are getting shut down, my work is ramping up to a 7-day-a week schedule as well as working 8-7pm each day (except I guess, on weekends??)…And yours truly is reaching a grouch factor that is in the stratosphere.

I guess grouchy, or just wanting to cry. I oscillate between both.

All the races are cancelled, many of my colleagues trips are also gone- to be rescheduled. At least they can reschedule that, phew!! I am wondering what will happen to mine in April.

Things are so far out of my control, I’m not sure what I can control at this point (my emotions?>???). My injuries are flaring up, my work is out of control, my happy future plans are now cancelled or really in question. That seems like minor, petty bullshit, but still- it’s hard.

Oats was sound last night though! Chalk one up to the good guys? 😉 I have a paltry piece of good news and I am going to cling to it with extreme desperation. Ha.

Also I had a doughnut today and it was great. So, the stress eating is going awesome!!

Sleeping lessons: Oats update

So, Wednesday and Thursday I rode Oats. Because we didn’t do our dressage lesson on Tuesday, I decided that Wed. would have more of a dressage focus, and we’d save the jumping for Thursday.

Blast from the past- 2011

Blast from the past- 2011

Because we did a TON of BIG STRONG canter on Tuesday, I focused on getting a bigger trot on Wednesday, with more connection, more ‘go’. We were able to ride with a friend, which was really nice- she’s lovely to ride with, super respectful of ring space and very arena-savvy. Oats was interested, but still responsive. I noticed he’s kind of clanking on his bit when I ask for more contact, so I think it might be time to get his teeth done!

Flashback to 2011

Flashback to 2011

Thursday, we did our jumping lesson. I’ve been having kind of a tough week, emotion-wise. Family problems are bubbling up, and it has been DIFFICULT. Work was also kind of insane this week, and I kind of felt like I was on the verge of a meltdown yesterday. I just felt sad, helpless, hopeless, depressed and anxious. Yeah, a perfect combination, eh?

Actually, Oats was a star for my lesson! Despite me feeling out of control emotionally and kind of a wreck the whole week, he has been solid as a rock. Good pony.

We worked over a two-stride x-rail to a small oxer, and then built it up to a small course. I only did the course once, after we schooled the two-stride a bunch of times (I was feeling overwrought but VERY pleased with his performance and decided to end it at one, before I fell apart.) The two-stride rode fairly ugly for a few times, then we took a break, and ACED it! It was sooo perfect.

We then worked over the course- the two-stride line, to a big x-rail on the diagonal, to a 5-stride line, rollback to the first jump in the line, back to the big x-rail, and then over a small oxer on the diagonal. Eight jumps total, and I was really happy with how cooperative Oats was. Go us!

It helped shake me out of my intense funk for the week, although I do have a bad habit of using riding, and running, to ‘escape’ from the overwhelming sadness I feel. If I’m busy, I don’t have to ‘feel’ quite as much.