Saved

Things are going well in my world this week! The weather has been mild, I had a very enjoyable couple of rides on old Oats as well as a fun lesson yesterday and I have been running to and from work happily and successfully!

I still kind of miss the summer though… 

This weekend is a busy one- I am celebrating my husband’s birthday today (35! where does the time go??) and we have an Oktoberfest celebration on Saturday night. Should be a fun one! I am also working at the barn (raking party to handle the new sand/sawdust for the outdoor and indoor), and I hope the weather cooperates for that. We currently have a wind warning on, and in true ‘Wizard of Oz’ style, I see leaves blowing up against the windows of my office building…

Plus one of our bosses brought doughnuts today. A win! yeah!! 

Tonight we’re off to a movie, Oats gets the night off (he got worked 3 days in a row this week, so his day off is well-deserved).

I am looking forward to riding tomorrow!

Don’t let it get to you

I will fully admit I was not in a good place yesterday writing my blog. I wrote that post out as a cry to help for my counselor (who I reconnected with yesterday and I already feel better about that, I am going to set up a session when I get back from horse camping). I felt like I needed someone to ‘trigger’ an emotional release with me, physically if that makes sense?

Week 2 of shockwave. Ouch. 

I know when I was crying just thinking about it, that I was far overdue for an emotional release.

Everything seems to set me off, and I honestly think that dealing with a few harsh realities from the weekend (the show that went horribly, still being injured and in pain) were just…Too much to bear on Monday. Any Monday, really.

Anyways, I did my treatment yesterday, cried about it for awhile (it is absolutely EXCRUCIATING), felt miserable about the physio saying it could take another THREE WEEKS?! and downbeat about things for a bit, reached out for help and support, and felt comforted by what I can do.

It’s great to have friends and colleagues who support you! 

I rode yesterday, and the arena was freshly dragged, and clean of all jumps. I rode on a loose rein, and let Oats dictate his headset and basically didn’t even steer. I let him make some decisions, and I walked, trotted and cantered. Around, around and around. Looping, moving, flowing. I didn’t practice anything. I just rode.

The freedom felt incredible. I felt open, not so scared, worried or frustrated. I was smiling. Sure my leg really hurt (it looks like a bruised banana today…So raw yesterday) but I was out there, and I was riding. Doing what I love.

Just want to have fun (I know this by heart). 

I want that back, in my personal life and my riding life. I’m done with being closed off, hurt and mad. I think personally taking some of the ‘skin’ and anxiety out of the game is going to have to be how it is for me right now. Otherwise, all I can think about is how much time this injury is taking away from my training (Haaaaaaaaaaaaa well now that’s in the toilet!!) and how frustrated I feel with my horse if I want to train for horse shows and jump lessons.

My friend is taking over my jump lesson on Thursday, so I can watch. I can’t emotionally handle pressure right now, of any kind. I need to take a step back, and a step down. I realized that this weekend. To be the kind of rider I want to be for my dear pony, and the kind of athlete I want to be, I have to let it go.

It’s funny, I want to hang on to it with my fingernails. Isn’t that what strong, tough people do? Hang on? Even writing that, I felt upset and disappointed. The reality is very different- I was happier yesterday when I didn’t have an agenda.

 

Final race of the 2018 VIRA Season- Bazan Bay’s 5k Recap!

It feels weird to write this, because earlier this past week I was like oh man, I am soooooo over racing! But then when I was at the race, I was thinking, boo…I want to race every weekend! Mixed emotions much?

I am having the race season of my LIFE! Each race, I am meeting the challenge and overcoming it. It feels incredible, to be completely honest. Wow. How lucky am I, that my body is responding to the increased demands in such an awesome way?

Series award, Frontrunners gift cert & bronze in my AG. What a weekend!

All that to say- my goal for the 5k was to get under 21 minutes. It felt like a stiff goal to me, as my weakest distance is the 5k for sure, and really any shorter distances. I just don’t have the power.

So I mentally wrote off this race as a ‘for fun’ race and a way to cap off the season of good racing. I was even asking Ian AT the race what my splits should be if I wanted to get under 21, and he said around 4:10/km. Yeesh, that seemed way too fast for me. So yeah I didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about it. My eye is on a bigger prize.

At the start, it was quite warm! I was wearing shorts and a long-sleeved Lululemon run shirt and kind of wishing I was wearing a t-shirt. Crazy eh? We were packed in close and the start was hairy- I watched someone almost smoke a small child that was up too close. Yikes!

We bustled and battled it out for 200 metres or so, and then things smoothed out. I felt like I was running pretty hard in that awkward ‘legs haven’t caught up to my lungs’ way. My first KM was about 3:56 or so? Phew, so I have some room.

We kept running and I had my eye on a few runners who I typically race with, as they have similar pacing and strengths to me. Next KM- 4:07. Ok, that I can work with, but I’d have to really watch to make sure it didn’t creep up….

KM 3- this is when I started catching runners. Not gonna lie, it felt AWESOME. Usually KM 3 is when the wheels fall off, but I just felt stronger. I ran this one at 3:50 I think? Between 3-4, I started really breathing hard, Jesus when was it going to be over? I started staring at my GPS watch, ha. A girl I caught up with-and-passed was gasping and breathing really horribly. It made me feel a bit concerned. Her coach or parent was on the sidelines telling her she had to ‘ make a decision…’

I ran a bit faster to put her behind me- it was very distracting.

And I could see the finish line- almost there! I was running as hard as I could, even though I did get caught up by a few runners who had a better sprint that I did. I could see the clock and couldn’t believe my eyes- 19-something?? Wha?

Photo courtesy of VIRA. Third place age-grouper.

I ran down the clock and staggered around trying not to puke. Long time racer Gary Duncan saw my finish and came over to give me a hug and congratulate me. I had just raced under 20 minutes! 

Whoa! My chip time just squeaked under 20, at 19:58 and my official gun time was 20:04. I couldn’t believe it! That amazingly was good for 3rd in my age group. We also had the year-end series awards and I got FIRST in my age group! That came with $100 to Frontrunners! 🙂

Series-end awards. Breeches are probably the least flattering pants around…Photo courtesy of VIRA.

Ian placed really high in his age-group too- 4th! Not too shabby! He is much faster than I 😉

Thanks again to VIRA for a fantastic race season. I’m floating on air, ending on a very high note. YES!

Much better

Ok crazy week recap:

Monday: Oats still sick, on antibiotics that I frantically called my vet to get him put on from Saturday. Beerfest is on! Pizza and Beer night with gelato. It was AMAZING!

Tuesday: Work is crazy, Oats is apparently still really sick? I start freaking out…Go out to the barn and jog him up and down the hill, and it looks pretty good. No snot, minor coughs in the barn.

Wednesday: Ride Oats finally!! After two weeks my legs are rusty hahaha. He has some coughs and snorts early in the ride, and it is insanely dusty in the ring. Like, I am coughing. So he’s doing quite well! Our first ride back in two weeks. After my ride on Wednesday, I head downtown for Beerfest Cheese and Beer night! It does NOT disappoint, unlike last year there are no crowds, the food is great and easily accessible and the beers are all my favs- Belgian Trippels, Belgians, and some sours and a fruit beer or two. YUM!

Thursday: Was going to try for my lesson but my trainer cancels this time! The dust in the arena aggravated a cough she had, and I can’t blame her. I go ride for my first ‘real’ ride and Oats is fantastic!! Coughing a bit, but it is so dusty that even I am coughing too, so I’m happy with the progress. Good boy 🙂 Also on Thursday: We go see The Dears at Capital Ballroom (formerly Sugar Nightclub). It was a sweeeet concert! Weirdly there was almost nobody there, so we got practically a private show- could buy drinks with no line-ups, and were right up at the front!

Phew. A busy, busy busy week. But, I’m just so happy that Oats is on the road to recovery. That was a long illness he had, and I was worried antibiotics weren’t helping- until they did, ha. I know I made the right decision to have him put on them, it had gone on long enough!

What does this weekend hold? Phew I dunno, I’m tired from the week!!

Good/Bad/Bummed

So no Oats recaps this week. He is SICK! 😦

I thought he was coughing a lot during my lesson last Thursday. Little did I know…

Saturday I got to the barn and he was full-blown snotty, snot spraying everywhere! On the ground, on my jacket, on his face, chest, legs all accompanied by a lovely cough. So, yeah my horse show (Wild ‘N Wooly Dressage Series) was supposed to be on Sunday. Can’t take a sick horse, Oats now having to have a bunch of days off to recover, as per my vet.

Show’s off.

Or is it?

My friends who were coming with me to the show were so bummed too! What to do? They suggested I borrow my trainer’s schoolmaster Blaze! I pondered that for a hot minute. I wanted to to do the show (on Oats) but I just plain wanted to try it out. I wasn’t going to be able to defer my entries b/c I am racing the next time and in Peru for the time after that!

The talented photographer Sue Ferguson took this photo of us!

So…I asked to borrow Blaze and got a yes!

Now, to ride a dressage show on a horse I have ridden once, in a jump lesson, three years ago. = Success??

HA, sort of!

Horse treats, gummy candies (from the horse show!) AND Reese’s (from Lindsay). They know me so well! 

It was a success in that the day went really well, Blaze was a really good girl and not spooky at all, and we tried our best! We even did the Prix Caprilli (pictured above)! The green-eyed jealousy monster in me wished I had Oats so we could strut our stuff, but I also knew that Blaze and I would be trying our best, and that was good enough for us 🙂

The show was run really well, super smoothly. My friends came and I had a great time chatting and catching up!! My friend on her horse was able to really pull it together after a bit of a shaky first test. I also kind of went off course twice… Apparently the third time is the try, hahahah. I am going to pin that on catch-ride nerves, haha. Or something?

It was a lovely way to experience the show and I am grateful I was able to borrow a horse to go. Now, please get better Oats. I miss riding you and having a purpose to my day!!

The Grand Banana: MEC race #5 recap~

Halloween Half- Marathon! Photo courtesy of MEC Victoria.

Finally, a race I can be proud of!! After a slew of really uninspiring races, races that blew up in my face, races that left me feeling pretty lacklustre about racing and my athletic running ability…I pulled this one out and it felt GREAT!

I wasn’t too enthused about it- to be honest, I was very anxious. My last  half marathon (MEC in June at Royal Roads) was just horrible. I felt like dying, was unsure about why I couldn’t breathe while I was running, and was just feeling concerned and a bit worried about how this was going to go. Was I going to have to walk, gasping for breath? Feeling like I was going to collapse?

The day was PHENOMENAL! Photo courtesy of MEC Victoria.

I did take the entire week off running, and started toning it down quite early last week- shorter runs, taking more days off, making it easier. Not gonna lie, taking the week off from running last week was TOUGH. I felt antsy, anxious, sluggy and like…What if this didn’t pay off? What then? I took a week off, for nothing? (I know a week off in the grand scheme of things is A-Ok! and I needed the rest for my legs, but try telling your brain that).

Anyways, I took time off running, took it easy, went to the corn maze on Saturday with my husband and friend, and didn’t drink. All nice things, and it was incredibly beautiful on the weekend. A kind of beauty that makes me want to live outside haha.

Gatorade break for me. Photo courtesy of MEC Victoria.

The morning was cold and I was kind of second-guessing my long-sleeves and shorts combo but I didn’t want to get too hot running, as I was going to be out there for awhile and it was supposed to be 17 degrees as the high for the day. Incredible!

And we’re off! I set out with a goal- try for under 5 min/km. Too ambitious? Maybe but I was just grasping at straws here. My first km felt kind of hard, but not really? 4:48/km. Hm…

But the beauty of it was…It just kept flowing. I felt light as a feather, light as air. I ran and ran, and thought about how I could do it forever.

My legs felt good, so good they wanted to be challenged.

I got caught up a bit in the gravel sections (so slow and sloggy) but counseled myself to run carefully here and pick it up when I could. Don’t try to push it too much on the ‘no grip’ sections, it isn’t worth the energy. Same for the running across the grass sections.

At 8km I had to take my shoe off to shake gravel out of it. GReeeeat….This would typically derail me bigtime, but I shook it off (literally) and kept running.

I felt happy, it was getting tough but I could do it. I was doing it. I could meet the challenge! I felt like I could do this, and then I could do even more. It was a fabulous feeling and one that has been missing from my races for a year or more. I was smiling, I felt good and I was happy.

At the finish, I was running with a young guy (who totally beat me at the end, ha) and we finished, turned to each other, and gave each other a high-five. 🙂 That’s what racing is for me- what I had been missing for so long. That purity, that feeling of fun, and freedom.

Thanks again to the excellent team at MEC, and the well organized (if a little insane) race. Good snacks, safe course and a great cheering section. I was even lucky enough to be able to go out for brunch with my husband (who ran an AMAZING race) and our friend who also battled it out to complete a solid 10k.  A great day.

Adulted-out

This weekend wasn’t all fun and games though…After our lovely getaway in Cumberland, complete with raging allergies that have given me a cold, we had to do some serious adulting. I’m talking boring, inescapable, chore type things. I don’t mind a good cleaning, or putting laundry away. This is the stuff that you put off as long as possible, like:

• Getting a new cellphone. Painful in my world. Takes FOREVER!
• Getting a hair cut. I have been putting this off for years now. Hate them!
• Buying items for a baby shower. Unsurpassed only by physically attending the baby shower. So far I have been unscathed but I do still buy items for the shower, I’m not a total heartless monster…
• Buying dog food, rabbit food, grain. Animals, why do you eat so much?! And why is my rabbit such a fussy eater, who hates the new stuff, or randomly decides he won’t eat his old food?!!
• Taxes and any financial documentation form-finding= life purgatory.
• Dentist appointments. Enough said.
• Doctor appointments. Doubly enough said.
• Going to the pharmacy for any reason. UGH!! Too many grabby-hands people driving me bananas.
• Home repair items. A five-year going nowhere plan in the making…
• Visiting Home Depot or Canadian Tire. Enough to make me want to burn my house down!!
• Car repairs. Possibly worse than Home Depot or Canadian Tire? Definitely seems to be more often and right now, more freaking expensive and frustrating. ARGHHH.
• Paying parking tickets. Particularly those stupid ones that say ‘resident parking only’ and you live on the street, for the love of god.
• Dog licences. Why why why?
• Horse Council Insurance. I get it, in the idealistic way of all insurances. But WTF.
• Home insurance: Why are condos more expensive than houses??
• Car insurance: Necessary evil. Emphasis on ‘EVIL’.

Wow, ok so I had a lot boiling up under my skin these days. Interesting.

Anyways, I’m also pleased to report that despite a lot of life frustrations at the moment (that really, everyone faces so what am I complaining about?), my dressage semi-private last night went SUPER well.

Oats is now learning how to say ‘yes ma’am’ and mean it!

Good pony boy. We had some really cool moments, and it was a fun lesson that felt really thorough and accessible. I’m getting to work more into Oats with lateral work (go us!) and we did some fun exercises on roundness, collecting the trot, building it back up again and such. We were significantly weaker in the canter for these exercises, but I’m assured that it is just something new we are learning and it will take time.

Nice to feel this type of progress, and I’m feeling more connected with Oats, and he is trying his little no-tail heart out!

Those who can’t do, judge. And- Hoppy Easter!

Thought since it was a very long weekend (much needed, desperately needed, and now I have a growing cold from it) I will split it into a few blog posts!

Buster Bunny wishes everyone a Happy Easter!

Was thinking a lot about this title last night (cold= can’t sleep), and reflecting on my jump lesson I had last Thursday. It went GREAT actually–I know I have been on a real roll for months now, but it was one of those lessons where I felt strong, competent, doable, fierce and Oats and I were WORKING IT!

The oft-repeated sentence from my lessons is usually: That was great, but….

But: I can’t replicate my successes.

But: I didn’t want to do the course again, because of reasons (fears, mostly).

But: Our leads suck.

But: Oats was dragging ass and I couldn’t get him motivated!

But: This is a one-time success and next week will be worse somehow.

This past lesson, even though I’d been actually riding a high from the lesson before, was super awesome. The lesson itself wasn’t really anything too fancy, no combinations, nothing too ridiculous, and yet…

We worked over a small course that had two, yes count ’em, two oxers (gulp!), and we worked on getting my lead to the right after landing from a fence on the diagonal, and one circle jump- to the right, natch! And I managed to acknowledge my fears- yes those are oxers- but hey you know what? I am a strong and confident rider, and we jumped those fine last week. It will be fine, and it was fine.

I even jumped one of the oxers backwards (whoops, sorry saintly Oats!!).

Anytime he felt a bit mushy or weak to the fence, we galloped boldly on. He was meeting the fences with me, I felt sooo good about it. The one diagonal fence got raised to 2’6” even, no problems. The 2’3” oxer that practically loomed rode…fine actually. Really nicely even! I think I was either smiling or grimacing, but it was the closest to a smile I’ve gotten!

Our leads were the most consistent they have ever been, and I was very  happy with old Oats. A sure sign? A compliment from one of the moms who was there to watch her daughter lesson after me. She said she hadn’t seen us go for awhile, but thought that we looked really great! Warmed my old black heart, haha.

I know not all lessons are that triumphant, but it felt good to be holding that feeling. Go us!

Throwback Thursday: Thanksgiving 2013

Yes, because I’m in a strange mood today and am throwing back only a few years to Thanksgiving!

I love you this much!

Also- I had an interesting ride on Oats yesterday. It was good (working on practicing with a neckstrap) and bad (losing my temper at some brief lateral work, Oats contemplating being a shit at the gate). It taught me that when things are going well, don’t push it so hard! Jesus! Haha, well I have been getting much better with ‘letting it go’ and yesterday was just a reminder of what happens when I forget, and start pushing him too hard…

Cutie Oats

Anyways, some photos of Oats and I- circa 2013~

Race goal of a sub-50 minute 10k- achieved!!

I finally did it!! Ran my first 10k race under 50 minutes, which has been my goal time for a few years now. I normally only race one race a year- the Times Colonist 10k, but this year decided to sign up for a race series to better measure my progress running (incremental and slowww) and I was getting a bit burned out by the insane hustle-and-bustle of the TC 10k, which has thousands of runners.

Cobble Hill 10k

The atmosphere is usually a big plus for me but after I got stuck at the starting gates with the walkers, for half an hour waiting to cross the start line…Yeah no thanks!!

So this race, the Cobble Hill 10k, was over a fairly fast track through the woods, gentle rolling hills and a somewhat foot-punishing gravel road for about 2km.

I was worried about my knee- one of the reasons (excuses) I have for not getting to my goal sooner was my wonky knee that could either cooperate or completely blow out and I couldn’t walk anymore (want to know how a 10k feels when you’re limping? I know! It’s LONG!).

So yeah, I was very keen to get a good time this go-around, and the crowds were far more manageable. I was running with my husband and my friend, and husband took off quickly so it was just friend and I, to pace each other.

First four-five kms felt a bit slow, I do find it tough to get in the rhythm without forgetting myself and accidentally damaging my knee. I didn’t quite have that *free* feeling that I had when I ran the 8k race.

We picked it up early, a bit too early actually. Between 6–7 we pushed the rate, and then I held it through 7km. At eight, I thought I should take it down a bit as I noticed I was gasping  loudly for breath instead of breathing like a normal person, and kind of felt like I was going to have a heart attack…So I tried to take it down to something reasonable to get my breathing going well again.

For 9, I held back a bit longer than I should have. I was a bit suspicious about ‘where’ exactly the finish line was and have been burned unpleasantly before when I started my sprint and realized I wasn’t anywhere close to it, and was flaming my lungs out! So, I held out on the sprint until it was pretty much too late, haha. Ohh well!

I made it anyways! Goal time of under 50 minute 10k was achieved, with a pretty respectable 49:29, not too shabby for me. The best part was the awesome food served at the finish. Chili, soup, snacks, anything you wanted, they had! YEAH!

I was extra-careful for the rest of the day to work to heal my legs up, and I’m actually not feeling too bad today. Phew!