Review time! The lesson here is that nothing is as good as Planter’s peanut butter

I have let my review food items pile up, and I’m eager to get back at them, aside from my regularly scheduled content that includes complaining about the wind and comparing peanut butters against my favourite, Planters (they always lose to Planters!).

Let’s start with a win, shall we? Gummy bunnies!

My dear friend gave this to me for Christmas and the girl knows me- they are delicious! Lovely to look at in a little lucite cube, and you know Easter is my favourite holiday too 😊 And I have heard of Sugarfina (their website is SOOOO tempting. Anyone else almost buy $150 worth of gummies??).

The green is a very distinct ‘green apple’ taste, juicy, a bit tart even in a gummy, a very stiff and yet still marshmallowy chew, it is a true pleasure to eat. The other flavours are notable as well but don’t stand out as well as the green apple bunny. Not pictured because I ate all of them too quickly! 😉

Pink bunny- lightly floral taste, a bit of tartness but nothing really compared with the green bunny. I couldn’t really place this flavour either- strawberry? Cherry? What other red or pink fruit could it be? It is tasty, but indistinct.

Yellow bunny- now, in fairness to yellow bunny, I don’t like yellow candies- the citrus taste seems to be a mockery. The only real citrus-flavour I love are grapefruit, encapsulated in layers of Trident layers gum…Ah, now THAT’s a flavour! (would anyone be surprised that I have written to Trident about their Layers gum??) This one is a bit weak- I can’t really tell which citrus fruit it is supposed to be- lemon I guess? It’s mild, sweet and chewy- what more do we want I guess?

And here is the loser, well ok two losers:

But first, a word here on disappointment. I went out to brunch last weekend at Paglicacci’s, and I like that place. But when you order an extra side of fruit for your meal, and they bring you… a ramekin of sliced oranges, that are probably the second half of the sliced oranges already on your plate? What kind of mediocre half-assery is that? Gee, thanks guys. I really wanted to pay extra for maybe one whole orange. Sheeeeesh.

Almost as disappointing as the Dan-D-Pak peanut butter I bought and I HATE IT. Too dark and the texture is gritty??? and weirdly greasy at the same time. Why add palm oil in great quantities to a nut butter that is EXTREMELY OILY??? I promise I won’t cheat on my dearest Planters ever again after that mess. Uck!

Anyways, from the country that brought us Skwinkles Salsaghetti, comes…drumroll please…

Pulparindo!

It looks like fruit leather, and it smells pretty bizarre- like fruit leather that was made in a tanning factory?? Anyways, first impressions aside I like tamarind flavour, and this was ‘extra spicy’ with salt. Oooh! Ian bought it for me from the Mexican store downtown- a great place to get corn husks for tamales, and stuff like that.

So looks and smell aside, how did it taste? Well, the tanning factory whiff was kind of a red flag…The taste is very strange. Crunchy (who eats crunchy fruit leather??), the salt had a strong ammonia salt flavour, and the tamarind taste was lost in the muddle of quite offensive crunch/grit, which was in every single bite. I found it extremely unpleasant, and maybe I should have known..Skwinkles aren’t exactly top-grade stuff either.. Anyways, I strongly recommend you avoid on this one. Ian also got me the ‘mango’ flavour which I have not tried yet, and probably won’t since he ended up finishing this one for me. Oh and was it spicy? Yeah, in another really bizarre way- it tasted like ketchupy-salsa spice? Ick. Don’t go there people, there are plenty of really fun and pleasant snacks to be found- like Rancheritos, yummm.

Don’t buy Kashi Joi Energy Nut Butter Bars: They suck! A review.

A review that I wish I didn’t have to write- overwhelmingly negative one about one of my favourite food items- nut butter + chocolate+ granola bar. What can go wrong? I mean, it looks great right?

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Jess (who is my gym sister and gets the granola bar thing almost too well) got me the new Kashi Joi Energy Nut bar in chocolate espresso and I was soooooo excited to try it. Yum my favourite things, almond nut butter, chocolate, espresso, nuts!! Just like one of those amazing Clif Nut-butter Filled Bars – and I LOVE those ones, they are incredible. I took a big bite of the new bar and literally gagged in surprise. Wha? It was more than horrible it was appalling.

Bitter, gritty, chemical aftertaste? Gagggg.

I actually unwrapped it to examine what exactly was so wildly offensive about this bar. I have eaten a lot of granola bars/energy bars…A lot. And while there aren’t many winners, there aren’t really any losers either, they’re just ok. But this one is actively bad. I saw on the bar it had these clumps of what I can only assume is ‘nut butter’ in these strange greasy little pockets, not well blended into the bar and not ‘nut-butter filled’ like my fav Clif bars. Just..there, and greasy and pretty tasteless. Ever tried icy squares by St. Moritz? Yeah, that, but with less flavour. Ick!

The bar itself had ground up coffee beans and boy did it taste like it. Gritty, bizarre and I felt like I needed to brush my teeth after eating because the mouthfeel and flavour was so offensive. Coffee breath? More like coffee mouth after eating it. Yuck!

To be completely unbiased and fair, I did buy the banana-chocolate nut energy bar last night to see if it was just the chocolate-espresso one that was so terrible. Big.Mistake. I took one bite and left it with a note for Ian- You can eat this, I hate it!!!

It tastes exactly the same as the miserable espresso chocolate one. Right now to the weirdly gritty mouthfeel, extremely bitter/chemical aftertaste and gross greasy pockets of ‘nut butter’ ha yea right. How????

Leave this one on the shelf, friends–it’s Joi-less. Your tastebuds and calorie budget will thank you. Next time Jess, we’ll stick with Clif!!

The bar itself had ground up coffee beans and boy did it taste like it. Gritty, bizarre and I felt like I needed to brush my teeth after eating because the mouthfeel and flavour was so offensive. Coffee breath? More like coffee mouth after eating it. Yuck!

To be completely unbiased and fair, I did buy the banana-chocolate nut energy bar last night to see if it was just the chocolate-espresso one that was so terrible. Big.Mistake. I took one bite and left it with a note for Ian- You can eat this, I hate it!!!

It tastes exactly the same as the miserable espresso chocolate one. Right now to the weirdly gritty mouthfeel, extremely bitter/chemical aftertaste and gross greasy pockets of ‘nut butter’ ha yea right. How????

Leave this one on the shelf, friends–it’s Joi-less. Your tastebuds and calorie budget will thank you. Next time Jess, we’ll stick with Clif!!

The other person is you

I feel like I don’t even have that much to recap on this past weekend? Had a good jump lesson last Thursday, took Friday off, and oh right…found a HUGE DEAD RAT in my locker bright and early on Saturday. 😦

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Wish Gidget was actually a rat terrier or something…

Gross. So gross. I screamed and ran out of the barn, found my friend and asked her casually…”So, how squeamish are you?” She said she wasn’t, so I said ‘good! Come with me and bring a shovel!’

She disposed of Mr. Dead Rat and I set about thoroughly cleaning my freaking locker. So much work. So much rat shit and urine. So awful. It was a really nice day out too, and how did I spend it? Cleaning my rat-infested locker… I did end up riding later though and Oats was really good!

I ran later in the day and my watch died and I ran longer than I planned to, it was getting dark out. Yikes! It was also kind of a bad idea, since my ligament injury was flaring up in the evening after my run. SIGHHHH I am ready for it to be done and sadly it isn’t. I am a very bad person at being injured.

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Flashback to a few weeks ago. Racing, and sooooo injured. Ouch! 

Sunday was another slack day, went riding (and I am still kind of processing things emotionally that are going on in my life, and I processed them through Oats. In a way I wish I hadn’t! Dumb of me) but he was good despite my being a dumb rider. I packed my run clothes and jogged after riding (ouch, that was a truly bad idea) and then met my husband and we went shopping downtown for Christmas gifts and some other things. It was nice to be downtown but I started getting really tired! Shopping is quite tiring for me, haha.

And that wrapped up my weekend, and I had a very chilly equine counseling session last night with Oats and my counselor. Very productive and it helped me feel more ‘grounded’ in my life/actions, if that makes any sense?

Ride tonight and I hope it is warmer~!

Weekend update: Storm of the century?

All last week, we had pretty dire warnings about how bad the storms were going to be. 100km/hour wind, torrential rain, the tail end of a typhoon, wow it was going to be something! 

Newsflash: it wasn’t.

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This is where I live…

It got super windy in the afternoon on Saturday, big gusts, and it rained heavily for about an hour and that was it. Kind of a letdown eh? Friday the storm was apparently gearing up, so I put on my running gear and ran along the breakwater to check things out. It was pretty wild, and felt totally exhilarating, until I had to turn around and run back. It was sooooo terrible- rain pelting my eyeballs, felt like nails being driven into my eyes, rain pounding into my ears so hard I got an earache! Wow, not doing that one again!

Saturday I rode Oats in the morning and it was so busy- the arena was packed! A lesson, and two of us hacking. Sigh…Oh well, Saturdays are a good lesson time so no wonder it was busy.

Saturday night I was at a birthday part for a friend, and had a fabulous time. They rented out a restaurant and we all paid $15/person, and got all the appetizers we could eat! I had a few ciders as well.

Sunday I was out at the barn, and determined to do some lateral work on Oats (it’s like homework, I never do it and kind of hate it, but it is good for you!) I had planned on doing that work on Saturday but busy arena =/= opportunities for lateral work at all. So I had the arena to myself on Sunday, yesss!

Except there was also a jump set up, and some good poles, and I also wanted to keep working on my eye….

So I ended up doing a bunch of pole work, hopped over the small jump, and then worked on lateral work. It was kind of a bust so I focused on straightness and an engaged trot instead. We were both sweating like crazy after! A tough workout for ol’ Oats and he needs to be clipped in the WORST way.

After riding, I let Oats graze for a bit in the longe ring, while I…gag…cleaned the rat crap out of my locker. I was gagging while I did it, there was SO MUCH OF IT. Oh my god, so gross. So disgusting. I feel all shivery and grossed out just thinking about it. Yuck. I brought bathroom spray and my rubber gloves and just..man.

My locker has turned into effing RAT CENTRAL. Oh..no. So nasty. I got home, ripped off all my clothes at the front door and put them straight into the washing machine and went to my bedroom in my underwear–everything was contaminated. YUCK!

Somebody shit on the coats

I quite literally feel like a character out of Dane Cook’s comedy set, the one that goes, ”omg. Somebody shit on the coats. Who does that? What’s going on?”

Because yeah, that happened.

Not exactly coats, no, it’s not that personal. But still. I drove into my parking space in my (secured) underground parking garage and spied what looked like a black rag at the front of my spot, against the wall.

“That’s odd,” I thought to myself. “It looks like someone harmlessly dropped a rag in my parking space.”

Not thinking anything of it- it’s a sort of public space (though we guard our privacy within our spots jealously and with some anger when someone messes with them.)

I parked my car, got out (wearing gloves- this is important) and went to investigate.

I flipped the rag over, and to my ultimate horror–shit.

Yes, someone had shit in my parking space, and then, this almost makes it worse!  Had covered it up with a rag.

???????

I did what anyone with a brain would do. Dropped the rag and ran screaming.

I made it upstairs and gaped, mush-faced (love this term from Tim Krieder) in horror at Ian. He asked if I was ready for dinner. I couldn’t even contemplate eating, not after that!

I relayed the whole awful story to him, and then emailed strata council to let them know. They, in a moment of remarkable restraint, emailed me back to say they were cleaning it up, and that they forwarded my story of woe to the other council members. I bet they were amused to read it, or equally horrified, but really held themselves in check.

I also decided to hypothesize to them that a homeless person did it, and that they, feral as they are, were probably camping out in our parking garage. I see that they did not expound further on my theory. Oh well.

This, needless to say, has been a real roller coaster of a week. I did engage in a fight with Canada Post earlier this week, so maybe I am experiencing some karmic retribution? Not sure, but definitely hope not. 

Eugh.