Horse goals: Go get it

Had actually very few rides last week (rode Tuesday and Thursday) took Monday/Wed/Fri off because I wasn’t feeling well on Monday (exhaustion is a thing??) and had a physiotherapy appt Wednesday after work for my back, and had a work thing Fri night that ended up kind of not happening…

But in the end, I felt like riding fewer days worked well for Oats and myself? He had more time off, and I had time to recover from the busy horse show weekend. Win-win! It’s hard to convince my brain of this though. My busy brain likes to remind me that I need to keep going, keep grinding, keep working. But I don’t have to listen to it.

In fact, my jump lesson on Thursday was far from perfect. So far. Ha. But it was pretty fun and by the end I was saying Oats needs to have the jumps up higher because he’s not respecting them! One jump he was just cantering over and I was like wha, where is the jump?? Pfft.

But my dressage lesson on Saturday was really good! He felt pretty nice, very cooperative and I felt much less tense than I have been. Even the awkward moments (breaking stride, trying to drag me out of a circle, some swapping, it was like hey, ok you can just sit and be ok with this awkwardness. Just sit with it for a moment, instead of reacting, or scrambling, or whatever.) And you know what? It went just fine! 

A lesson to me- sometimes you don’t have to react, do, be, whatever. You just have to maintain and be ok with whatever is happening.

So I think my goals for the summer are:

• Ride a 2’6” course at home – ideally comfortably. Maybe try for a 2’9” fence in a grid? I’m not going to push this too much. Feeling good and not stressed about it is key.
• Ride a competent first level test- I don’t much care about the scoring, but I do want it to feel more cohesive, round through the back, less struggle. I will know it when I feel it. Be present in my body doing it.
• Show at 2’3” comfortably- maybe a course at 2’6” if I am feeling confident and good about it. I’m not pushing this goal too hard- I want to feel present, confident and comfortable.
• Practice what I preach- less tension, less stress. Ride a 5-day week, and then ride a 4-day week. Let things go with Oats, let him have more time off.

Everything is starting to make sense

Had a BUSY weekend. But a good one!

So, what did I, Oats, Ian and Gidget get up to?

Saturday I had rescheduled my lesson for this week so I rode two jump lessons last week instead- Thur/Sat. Saturday I was out in the field for my ‘brave girl’ jump lessons! And it went really well- though most certainly not perfect, ha.

Oats was on fire! He was charging off and it surprised the heck out of me. Who replaced my lazy as sin pony with Mr. Hot Pants? Wow. We had to work through some stuff (a few silly stops when I pulled my hands up before the jump, one attempt through the barrel jump that was basically a runout-stop-climb over it, I think he was feeling tired by that point, and one jump we crashed straight through in a -go-no-stop-no-go disagreement…Whoops! We circled around and jumped it fine the next time, so no hard feelings on that one.

We jumped a lot, ha. It was quite a warm day, so my husband and I then headed straight to Thetis Lake for some good trail running (9km slow) and then we picked up our swimsuits, got changed and went swimming in the lake! How perfect is that?

In the evening, we went to see a film- The Big Sick and it was pretty good actually.

Sunday I was on the go again- I volunteered as a flagger at the polo tournament (Victoria’s Lt Governor Cup) and it was a scorching day in the sun! I wanted to ride in the slow chukkar but didn’t get added to the tournament, so spent the day volunteering instead. Bummer! But oh well, there will be plenty of opportunities to play coming up.

It was VERY exciting, and I saw some really crazy plays- full bore gallop ride-offs, some neat backhand goals and some really intense gallop leads. WOW!

Then I hopped back in my car and went to ride Oats (dressage in the indoor, I was feeling completely fried by the sun. Ouch!! Even the next day my face felt tight and hot.). Silly me, too much sun exposure and no hat. I know better than that!

All in all, a good and busy weekend. 🙂

Goals? What goals?

I feel like I have kind of abandoned the idea of riding goals for myself and Oats, chiefly because our progress has always felt very…tenuous and shaky. I was doing fantastic last spring, and it completely FELL APART in a very dramatic and miserable way in the summer. Cue falling off three-four times in a week, every single time I jumped. And falling off at every freaking horse show. Wow.

So…yeah.

Funny enough I did meet a lot of my goals though? I was cruising around a 2’6” hunter course, I went in a jump derby and PLACED>! And this year I even entered in a clinic and *gasp* rode in it without having a complete and total meltdown, it was productive and even fun?

Who is this girl?

I guess it all taught me that goals are fine, but it’s more important to be flexible, because life and horses can completely bite you in the ass and turn things sideways so fast your head will spin.

Do I have more riding goals?

• Sure, why not. I’d like to show some more, maybe do some more –dressage- ? Hahah.
• Also I would like to school cross-country again, it was really fun, and ride in more hunter shows.
• I am thinking I might also make the effort to go to more two-day shows.
• Enjoy my horse.
• Go on a trail ride? Only one though. That will be it for me, it’s too frightening with the traffic on the road at our barn!
• Confidently school 2’6” in lessons again with the occasional foray up to 2’9”.
• Develop counter canter.
• Work on lead changes.
• Have fun!!

And I have some running goals too! I didn’t meet my goal last year- achieve a sub-45 minute 10k, but I do have hopes for that this year.

• Achieve a sub-45 minute 10k
• Run all of the races I signed up for (winter series)
• Don’t race all of the races I signed up for. Be canny about where to spend your efforts, and use those ‘in between races’ aka MEC races, as good training efforts instead.
• Achieve a 1:40 half marathon- stretch goal for sure. maybe not gonna happen.
• Ramp up my mileage- I am enjoying running a lot so make sure to get out more and work it!
• Try my hand at the track series again. I really liked it and found it super challenging.
• Be positive about progress and lack of progress particularly with regards to injuries.

Flow in Sports: A book, a lifestyle, a challenge

I borrowed this book from my friend Sarah and have been working my way through it this week. It’s very interesting and I found myself reading sections of it out loud to my husband–for a non-fiction ‘how-to’ that is pretty unusual!

The crux of sport is the quality of experience, of richness, that it offers.

But how do we recognize ‘flow’ and how do we capture it? I know I have experienced that effortless, ‘flow’ movement running, even racing. Time slows down, my breathing is perfect, my legs feel strong, I feel suddenly effortless and smooth. I am floating! I can DO this!

Sadly, this is also rare and fleeting, and also extremely hard to replicate. Also, I have NOT been able to replicate it in riding. Why? How can I?

The book suggests a few different paths to take to achieve that flow. Here are some of their suggestions on the path to flow:

1. Challenge-skills balance
2. Action-awareness merging
3. Clear goals
4. Unambiguous feedback
5. Concentration on the task at hand
6. Sense of control
7. Loss of self-consciousness
8. Transformation of time
9. Autotelic experience

What would it take to make you happy? You might guess a big TV, a beer, some chips and dip, and a great show on Netflix, but you’re wrong. That would make you relaxed and content, but it would not satisfy you, it would not make you happy for other than a fleeting second.

You have to struggle, overcome and try a challenge to be satisfied with life. We are apparently nothing without an obstacle to overcome= welcome to sports, particularly running and riding!

We have to create challenge, and overcome it. This happens one of two ways- physical and mental. For me, the mental challenge is the biggest! Having confidence in your skills is also incredibly important, you need this ‘I got this’ when going in.

Sometimes that means lowering your goals/challenge from outcomes to process. That means instead of seeking a placing or AG group win, you nail every fence and get smooth changes, or hit the paces you want instead of trying to beat a person.

Here is a good exercise to develop self-awareness: Pick a quiet spot, close your eyes, and focus only on your breathing. Time yourself to see how long you can do this before other thoughts intrude. A minute? Two minutes? It’s tough!

Also a great exercise- keep a notebook on you for 1 whole day, all activities. Write down every time you have a negative thought about yourself. Are there a lot? How are you managing them and refocusing them?

Set smaller, specific, daily goals rather than big, scary ones. You will be happier knowing you’ve ‘won’ instead of constantly trying to get to one that may never happen.

Prepare for competition- have a plan A and a backup plan B. I admit I am really bad at this, and I need to be better. What do you do when the wheels fall off and things go bad? That is when Plan B needs to step in to save the day.

Take advantage of feedback–it can be a game changer if things start sour. Also I am sooo guilty of this: You have a great start and think you’re winning and then things IMMEDIATELY go south. Ie- fall off at the last fence. Not that I’m guilty of that or anything…

You can prevent this by staying in the moment. 

And, I have an good example of when I was feeling bitter and sour about how badly a race was going and how slow I was, it was hot, the course was extremely hilly and I was just having a shitty time knowing there was no way I was going to get the time I wanted/hoped for. Until I ran up the big hill, I held this bad attitude. And then, a volunteer shouted to me “Hey you’re halfway done!” and I smiled and thought yeah you’re right!

I felt the pressure to get the time I wanted lift off me, and from then on, focused on enjoying the ‘experience’ of the race. It was hot, beautiful, I had lots of Gatorade to drink and hell, the hills were hard but they also meant that I could forget my time-pressure goals. I was loving it!!

Remember: the past is the road to nowhere, the future is a road under construction, and getting back on the right road is what matters!

We can only control the controllables- in running that is your pace, emotions, feelings and hydration/nutrition. In riding, there are a lot more…variables to put it nicely.

To sum this up, I also have another example of when I was SO ready to let the train run off the track, but was able (through a strength I didn’t know I had) re-focus, re-direct and just ‘be okay’ with what was happening.

I had Oats in the warmup at a big show and he was lit up. Bucking in-hand and just excited. I’d slept badly, there was huge drama in the morning with my trainer’s sick horse, so she was having a hard time of it and was distracted and upset, I tacked up Oats by throwing his tack on while he spun in circles wildly…It was just horrible. I was stressed beyond belief and when he was getting nutty, I was just hoping I could stay on.

Nobody knew what the course was, the class descriptions were all over the map, and I was just like, arghhhh.

I got on Oats, and immediately went to work. He spooked a few times, was jiggy and silly, but I know my horse and I know he will work down. So, we did. And I just kept in the moment- ok, trot. Fine, some walk. More circles! Canter. Canter this fence. Canter another fence. And exercise by exercise, he calmed down and I was ready to go show!

Sadly this focus didn’t last – apparently it was too hard for me to maintain it and I fell off in my second round after a fabulous first round- but I was very proud I was able to shake off the external issues (there were MANY) and just do it, by staying focused and present on my horse, in the moment.

And the last tip? Focus on the FUN! Yes, that’s why we do it mostly! There is no better feeling than a big fist-pump when you finish a great course, feeling like freaking Ian Millar! Or giving your all in the last sprint. It is AMAZING!!!!!!

A jumble?

I also got a brief run in…

So, things have also been very interesting this week. In a nutshell:

• Listed my condo as I mentioned on the weekend and accepted offers on Tuesday. Exciting!
• Rode in my dressage semi-private on Tuesday and things were GREAT!
• Work computers went ka-blammo also on Tuesday. Not so great.
• Jump lesson Wednesday and it was…a challenge? Some good and some ‘needs a lot of work’ but what I can say- Oats is a babysitter too, and he took great care of me when I was doing a lot of my regular dumb things- riding backwards, pulling, getting left behind, not committed= no problem mom, I got this!

So yeah, wow.

Beers with my husband at Car Free Day. A great weekend event!

I was VERY pleased with my dressage lesson. We worked on transitions, but not in the way you think- they were more like, good forward walk, ok go up to HUGE trot (it felt like we were flying!) and then transition back to good walk, and then huge trot again, to the canter. We were going to intentionally let them break into canter from the huge trot, so the transition felt very seamless and uphill. It did, actually. The only issues I had was Oats getting distracted down the long side – felt like I was wrestling with a shark at this crazy big trot. His canter transitions felt amazing though.

And- the forward work we did really ‘bled through’ to my jump lesson on Wednesday. Oats had 1 big spook at the tractor in the field (thanks doofus) but he was quite nicely forward and very obliging. Our gymnastic work- my nemesis- was SO good! The jump at the end went up to 2’6” and I swear it looked about 2’3”. I didn’t even believe Nicole when she said it was higher, and I kind of still don’t believe her. The course work was….a work in progress.

I need to get better about my hands pulling back, and for me, being more honest about the distance to the jump. So, bring my hands down, and commit to the jump, dammit! Oats was golden. He took any distance, never a bad thought in his head. Love him! I don’t want to lie to him about distances….

I only did the course once (yeah I wimped out) but I am trying. Slowly but surely, I am trying.

Next up: Tying a home-made bucking strap to the d-rings on my saddle, to give my pulling, too-high hands somewhere to anchor to when the desire hits me. I want to improve!

 

 

World’s Okayest Runner: VIRA Cobble Hill 10k race recap!

Yes, three races in three weeks! My legs are feeling TRASHED today, ha, and I had a coughing attack walking to work. Such is the price to pay for glory??

Me- on any given race day.

So, last week was the MEC 10k, and the weather was god-awful. This weekend was much sunnier, and it was the VIRA Cobble Hill 10k. This is a race I vaguely recalled running last year, where I set my first 10k-related goal (the vaunted, hard-to-achieve time of 49:29 as Facebook reminded me today!). Wow, how things have changed eh?

Photo courtesy of the Ceevacs run club.

This time, my time goal for the 10k is sub- 45:00, which I know is going to be extremely challenging to get. And that wasn’t necessarily my goal for Cobble Hill–I kind of wanted to see what I was capable of, coming off a 10k last week? Sound reasonable?

My new fav run photo- courtesy of my husband!

I mean, if i got sub-45, I was going to be very happy, but I also realized that realistically in running, ‘wishing and hoping’ isn’t very well going to make it happen!

Newsflash: I didn’t get sub-45. But I got a time I was very good with!

The race itself felt like a slice of special Hell. I set a very good pace at the first km (4:19?!) and the immediately realized I could NOT sustain it, as I set it running down a slight incline…Whoops. My allergies were going insane and I could hear my breathing through my EARS every BREATH was like this weird echo of a loud person breathing in my ears. It was making me feel really crazy.

I started gaining time…from that fast pace to 4:29, 4:37,4:39, and then it got really ugly and I was gasping and starting to feel sorry for myself…4:44! I had thoughts like: I see Ian and his dad, I wonder if I could just pull out now, and end this?? Would anyone notice? How does it feel to quit mid-race? How did this feel easier last week?

Let’s just say 4km and I are not friends.

The race was also super super busy. It was packed! I wasn’t passing anybody. They were all passing me haha. I went around the turnaround and started mentally slapping myself. Only 5k left! Sharpen up! Focus! Pick yourself up! No feeling sorry for yourself!

The mental slapping must have worked, because I started to regain more control of my breathing (it still sucked, but sucked a bit less), and worked my pace down to 4:26. I then flip-flopped between 4:26-4:3-? until the last KM, and I ran my 9th km at 4:23, which I was VERY pleased with.

Photo courtesy of Ceevacs. I swear, I thought I was sprinting…

I was not so pleased with how terrible I felt during, and after, the race. Jesus.

Award ceremony! Photo courtesy of Ceevacs.

I staggered through the finish and sat down on the crumbling steps of the school. I couldn’t catch my breath well enough, and I felt dizzy. I walked back to the school/staging area with some nice runners and my calf seized up–I was dehydrated.

Kind of Halloweeny eh? I actually tied for 8th, but ended up in 9th for some reason? (milli-seconds??).

So, I was very happy with my time (a not-shabby 45:23) I was not super glad about how it actually ran- it was ugly, it felt horrible, and man, it was just…extremely rough.

But as always, there is another race, another day, and my effort was good. Thanks to the Ceevacs running club, the volunteers, race director, photographers, course marshals, food staff (!!yummy chili!) and photographers (my husband included) for making the day a real one to remember. 🙂

Race success! MEC Race #1- The Rust Buster 10k recap

I know, racing again so soon? Am I crazy? But hear me out- there’s a method to my madness. I had/have a very aggressive time goal (45 minutes) for my 10k, so I have to work hard to get there. Racing is hard. Racing is also more fun than just training, sooooo I sign up for races as ‘training’ to help me get there!

With me so far?

This was a new race to me- I had never heard of MEC races before last spring. But this year I signed up for alllll the MEC races. They’re cheap, easy to sign up for, and no-frills. Perfect. They are also normally very low-key, but apparently didn’t get the memo this year as they had over 500 runners?! WHA?

More gaping mouth photos, but hey at least I’m running! Photo courtesy of Ian.

My legs didn’t feel amazing last week. I have a very hard time not using them (sounds funny I know), and before I knew it, I’d find myself on the stair stepper, or on the leg machine, legs aching, looking around being like WTF am I doing? So, a bit tired, not as good at recovery as I thought I would be.

So, for this 10k I had humbler goals- try for under 5:00 minute kms. Maybe 4:45?

We got to the staging area and it was a freaking zoo! The wind was bananas, it was raining, there were tons and tons of people waiting in the bib pickup line, I had to go to the bathroom (more lineups) and I was not sure if I’d get my bib in time! Ian had even dropped me off to park the car to give me more time, that I spent…stuck in the bib pickup line. GAH!!!

So, I was feeling a bit frantic and worried. I shouldn’t have worried though–it worked out fine. He came back, I waited in the bathroom line, came back and he was still in line, and I got my bib. Highlight of the day: running into my colleague who was running the 5k- and her time was no slouch either! Yay!! We were even able to shout to each other on course! 🙂

We started and the first loop was very blahhh. I didn’t love it. It was a bit hilly, the weather kind of sucked, and I wasn’t in the groove. We looped around back to the school and began our very lengthy out-and-back. I started getting into it more and looking at my watch- I was on target for a reasonable 4:34 or so? Wow!

I bargained with myself- “Ok you can check your watch at every KM but not before. It is tempting, but wait for the KM beep!” I sort of kept my promise to myself. I was holding strong, even though at 4km I kind of wanted to fade…But I remembered I’m better at the 5+ km’s than the first 5kms. So I hauled on!

We hit the bridge and things got ugly. It was surreal, the wind was so strong and we were getting blasted sideways, with rain. I saw the 5km runners and they looked absolutely miserable. I could only think, that’s me next then! And it was….rough. This was my slowest km by 15 seconds, no surprise there.

A teenager wearing a tanktop and I played leapfrog the whole time. It was interesting to be challenged like that. I didn’t really pass many people, and at that point they weren’t passing me- except for the teen. She ended up smoking me in the last few 100m, and beating me by like 10 secs…Ha, shoot!

Ian was able to take a pic of me,  yes!! And then it was all over! And I had met my so-far goal of 45:XX…with my best time so far of 45:35 (gun) and 45:30 (net). YESS!!!! And best of all, I actually felt like a competent runner–not dying/gasping/choking. Sweet!

Snacks after and my stomach was killing me! But my day wasn’t over yet…Stay tuned for more excitement tomorrow, as I wrapped up my race day with a visit with a friend to Sea Cider’s Wassail event!

 

I hate everyone this time of year, so I’ll join in. Riding and Race goals: 2016

Darn New Years Resolutioners, you’re the reason the gym cubbies were ALL taken at lunch, and plus all the treadmills! Don’t you know I have training to do? Do you?

looking forward to more finish lines like this, this year!

SIGH

So, I don’t really like having goals per year, because I find I can put too much pressure on myself (this applies primarily to horseback riding, ha). BUT this year I have some very aggressive race goals. For me, obviously.

For riding, I’m hoping to keep on the positive path I have been on, and this includes monthly counseling sessions with Oats, horse shows as needed, and lots of riding lessons and jump sessions!

For racing….

For my 10k, I am really, really gunning for a 45 minute 10k. This is going to be extremely difficult for me.

For my 8k, I am tentatively looking at 35 minutes, but will also accept my ‘b’ goal of better than last year’s 8k (38:40). Here’s my update: Race time of 36:20 met my ‘b’ goal, which is ok!

For my half marathon, My ‘a’ goal is 1:45 eventually, but I will focus more on achieving my ‘b’ goal right now (1:50).

For my 5k (not even sure if I will end up even running a 5k this year??) I’d want 20:something for my ‘a’ goal, or my ‘b’ goal… will accept better than last year’s time (22:18).

For my 15k, I almost feel like letting this one slide, as I achieved my ‘a’ goal for it in the fall (sub- 15:00, got 14:33). A colleague thinks I can start working towards 1:10, but I know that is going to be a big ‘a’ goal for me this year.

And as always- protect my knee, be careful with it and remain super compliant about strengthening the muscles around it to stay in place.

And I think that’s it! I’m excited, tired and out of breath just thinking about racing. Man, it is so tough, but so worthwhile too? Ha.

And some anti-goals:

I’m not super interested in trail racing. Did it, didn’t super enjoy it. Probably won’t do any this year.

I also don’t think I will take part in the MEC Big Wild challenge next year either…Just too worried about getting seriously injured.

Some horse shows I’m just so ‘eh’ on that I won’t bother.

Also the marathon talk. I know, it’s tempting. But the time, people, the time. Also, I like to use my unreliable knee as an excuse.

30

That’s right- today is my 30th birthday~

Let the good times roll!

I still feel like I’m 21, so it feels weird to be almost a decade older. They are right- the years do go by MUCH faster once you’re past 20 years old.

What have I learned, now that I’m 30? Some good things and some bad.

• Hangovers are practically nuclear now. Sorry body and brain!
• No relationship is a guarantee. Not your boyfriend, your horse, your friends or even your parents marriage.
• Education is overrated, but still something you have to check off the box for. Do it.
• Jobs are not a guarantee of happiness or success, and jobs are also VERY hard to get. Good ones even more so.
• Nobody has the right to treat you poorly. Don’t stand for it, and don’t stand by for it.
• Kindness gives back more than anything. Weirdly, the more you spend, the better off you will be for it, if it’s for the right reasons.
• Save well. Don’t be an idiot.
• Cars don’t last forever.
• Travel is always worth the money. You don’t get time back, you can always make money back.
• Always have pets. The money, sadness, heartbreak, angst and worry are worth it.

So, what am I doing now that I’m 30? Ha, nothing. Work today and my dressage lesson tonight.

This past weekend though, I spent with some good friends camping on the beach in Port Renfrew. We had a blast, it was smoking hot, and it reminded me of all the good times I’ve had over the years with them. Made me feel a bit nostalgic, actually!

A no-pants kind of weekend

And then I rode Oats on Sunday and it was HOT HOT HOT! We rode in the indoor- and I had to chase a deer out who was cooling his heels in the hog fuel, and then cooled out outdoors to escape the choking dust. Small victory: Got Oats to go through the gate to the outdoor while I was on his back! He can be weird about gates and is quite gate-sour, so it took a bit of trying, but I held my ‘zen’ and we got through fine.

The ocean is still cold!

Monday I rode him out in the field (small field, not gallop field) and worked on finding my distance from a very relaxed canter/two point position. Bad habits still abound: Sitting the last stride, hinging off my knee instead of pushing my foot forward, and elbows out. Still, it was really fun and he was very cooperative!

Sports intertwine- Running VS Riding?

Funny enough I don’t really blog much about running except recently some race reports. Truth is I think it is kind of boring, it’s a boring sport to do, and to talk about (for me, mostly).

Probably because I’m not thrillingly fast, and I do find it very disappointing and discouraging. Funny enough in my riding life I am pretty much at the ‘mediocre’ level as well but still LOVE talking about it- to anyone who will listen- aka my blog…HA.

(I will use this opportunity to sneak a riding update- Saturday and Sunday we had to do flatwork, which Oats cooperated but was less than sparkly about). He got the fastest tack up-warm-up-ride, including trot cross-rails and canter circles-yesterday of his life!!). Lesson tomorrow, clip job/tranq today.

But there is cross-over. Riding is a very mental sport, and so is running. The head game is 90% of the win for both of these activities.

So, even through my headline says running VS riding- it’s more like running + riding= mental success! (?????). The success part is still coming I think…

I like this quote from a running blog I read from time to time: Run Selfie Repeat

One of the easiest mistakes you can make when working towards a fitness goal is feeling ashamed, discouraged or defeated by where you’re at instead of empowered by it. We all have to start somewhere! It doesn’t matter how fast you’re doing it, how long it’s taking, or how far you’re going, it’s the fact that you’re showing up and putting the work in that counts. And sometimes you have to stop to smell the flowers, to take a break and remind yourself why made the goal in the first place.

It is very easy to get lost in the process- for both my riding goals/progression AND my running goals.

So I didn’t break the top 10 in yet another race- overall, I’m doing fairly well and injury free. That’s a big win!

I’m getting more out of my jumping lessons (when fear doesn’t overtake my brain) and by being/starting in a comfort zone, I’m also enjoying them MUCH more.

It is easy, so easy to think: I’m not running/riding enough, I should be faster/progressing more, I should be placing higher, jumping higher, etc etc etc…

And why do I do these things? I LOVE these sports (well riding, running…I get a weird sense of self satisfaction from. I call it runner’s smug).

So yeah we can do it! Go us!!