Yes, a play off Flannery O’Connor here…
Last week, when I was warming Oats up for my jump lesson, my trainer remarked offhand that she was always pleased with how Oats comes into my rides soft, willing and flexible. He warms up well, and doesn’t come in stiff or tense or giraffe-like.
I was like yeah, I’m lucky I guess!
And then I thought a bit more on it…And it’s not just luck. It’s combined effort- trust me he didn’t always warm up this nicely. He is learning how to, and I am learning how to ask.
Funny enough, it was that statement that stuck with me more than my lesson- which was tough, we screwed up a lot, and still managed to achieve a lot too.
I am lucky.
In other news, Oats was fun to ride yesterday but all I wanted to do was jump, but I was feeling a bit anxious as I was 100% alone in the dark at the barn at night, and sort of feeling wary. Not sure why I get like that, but it freaks me out and I think maybe jumping when I’m totally alone at night, nobody else is at the barn and it’s complete darkness out isn’t a great idea…
I did a bit of jumping and Oats was golden. It whetted my appetite, but I left it well enough alone- I’m not a big risk taker. Plus when the last rider left the barn, she was telling me how all the horses were acting super crazy, ‘up’, spooky and nuts…It made me feel anxious, even though that’s silly–Oats is a good pony, and I can pretty much trust him when I ride alone on a blustery, rainy night.
And he proved me totally right- he was great! So why did I let that rider’s fears affect me? Not sure…But I did acknowledge how I was feeling (a bit edgy), so I toned it down to meet how I was feeling.
So, I learned something–when riders are talking about how crazy their horses are, it sets me off a bit. I need to recognize that, and also understand that their horse is not my horse.
Otherwise, work is insane at the moment and it is driving me insane.