A non-jump lesson

I had moved my lesson time up yesterday as I am on a bit of a different schedule Thur/Fri, and was kind of surprised by the amount of machinery on the ground in the outdoor arena…

Yeah, so not riding in the outdoor and not jumping I guess?

There were dumptrucks, trucks, backhoe and everything- working to clear out blackberries from the paddocks. I’m all for regular maintenance so that was good to see but MAN was it distracting to ride with (even in the indoor?!).

So I told my coach I was ok if we did flatwork but I needed a tune-up so I could work it without stirrups! And I did! For pretty much the whole ride, hahah. We had to sharpen him up with lots of walk-canter transitions (with stirrups) and then moved on to running through a dressage test twice without stirrups, hahaha.

The tests themselves- well, they were ok not great but not terrible. At least I had an excuse- hell-o, riding without stirrups here, voluntarily!

Oats was fine, and we had a very reasonable ride. Enjoying my days.

“All acts of nostalgia are expressions of longing for a past that never was”

Didn’t have my dressage lesson yesterday- as board increases are starting to eat into my regular ‘horse budget’ I’m having to cut back a bit- and so my dressage lessons are going to every other week, and I didn’t show this summer (by choice but also by $$$).

Instead, I did another horse counseling session and we focused on setting SMART goals. This was hard for me, because I can see the goal part, and I have my start, but what about the middle stuff? How does that go?

Well, it goes something like this…

I want to ride in the 2′ and 2’3” divisions at a local show series.

I want to compete in the whole series.

I want to finish each division without skipping any classes.

Easy eh?

Well, I also want to do it without having a meltdown, feeling anxious, feeling ‘out of body’ and actually enjoying feeling competent in the situation.

Not so easy.

How do I do it?

Continue with my private jump lesson once a week.

Add in separate schooling sessions over fences focusing on relaxation- now this is going to be the tough part.

Continue doing my counseling sessions once a week until my first show, and then probably moving it to once every other week.

So…That’s my action plan moving forward. I hope I can make progress this way!

Oats was a lovey to ride yesterday, I didn’t end up riding for that long as the counseling session took about an hour. We had some GREAT forward canter in the outdoor, and some fairly reasonable trot. Overall, a fun ride.

Today I am taking off, and having drinks! Yeah! Tomorrow is the jump lesson- where I get to put my money where my brain/mouth/body is…AH.

Weekend Update: The fair, a mud run, and riding!

Ha what a fun way to start a race!

This past weekend, my husband competed in the Mud Mulisha run in Shawnigan Lake- I’ll write more about it later (he’s going to write a review!) but I stayed on the sidelines to take pictures and watch. I’m glad I made that decision, as I wrenched my shoulder going through the jump on Thursday and by Saturday, it still hurt! Plus I couldn’t chance my bad knee going through obstacles or up and down a giant hill, so…all for the best I was benched haha.

Up a big hill

Then we headed straight to the Cobble Hill fair. I love fairs! While I may not want to take Oats in one – the atmosphere is way too electric for him, and he can be a total disaster in hack classes, he much prefers jumping – I really enjoy watching the riding and looking at the agricultural exhibits.

A new Mr. Oats..Mr. Moo

Ian’s mom won $100 for her quilt! What a prize eh??

The hack classes were really fun to watch, one horse in particular was a real class act and did SUPER well. And there was even a pairs class, so cute. It was very well subscribed, with like 5 pairs of horses showing. Nice eh? Ian’s dad was helping with the sheepdog demonstration and the funniest bit was when they showed ducks! The ducks didn’t really want to cooperate and starting running amok…

I am also learning to drive an antique tractor!

It was a hot day, that’s for sure. I was super glad I wasn’t showing myself!

We then picked a ton of plums (damson and Italian prune plums) from Ian’s parents garden. I ate WAY too many plums. Kind of a mistake, ha. But now we have a veritable bounty of plums to eat- damnson, Italian prune plums and like 6 squashes of varying sizes.

Yum!!

Sunday I rode Oats in the field and he was GREAT! We just walked, trotted and did canter sets. He was quite sweaty after, and I let him explore the field a bit on a loose rein. He didn’t want to go back up the hill (effort!!!) so he tried to leave the field going through a farmyard. Silly pony! We also kind of chased a mother deer and larger fawn-though he is a slow pony and was in no risk of actually catching them…

Yesterday he was in a weird mood. “Look at me, pet me, let me touch you, let me grab your ponytail, let me nuzzle your butt, look at me!!” All while I was grooming and tacking him up. It was kind of driving me nuts! Whyyyy with the grabby attention-seeking, Oats?

He also was an absolute terror to poor Feline- I was brushing his tail and he lunged forward and snapped at her! She jumped to the side and like, crashed into her elderly owner…Shit. That took me by surprise?!

He was good to ride though, we rode in the indoor arena to practice some dressage and I even did some lateral work (normally hate it!) and he was pretty honest about his effort! A+ for Oats for yesterday’s work, haha.

Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep

One out of 30 isn’t so bad.

Being braver

Had a jump lesson last night, and it did try my need for perfection quite strongly. I hate bad distances, crashing jumps, rails down, and chips (gah the chips!) and we had exactly 1 super bad jump- I misjudged and let my legs slip back a bit on the downhill, and Oats slid into the jump and took it out.

I kind of jarred my shoulder, but overall stuck it. We lowered it to an x-rail, worked through it again to the bending line oxer (it was kind of ugly), then rode it again to the oxer- much better!

I want this to look small to me.

I ended on that note, and it kind of took all of my courage to not completely wimp out when things went sour. I have a real tendency towards perfection, and when the rails start coming off the tracks, I backpedal and can’t seem to get going again.

My coach brought it home with this- so it was 1 bad jump-all the others looked pretty good! So what was I complaining about exactly? One out of 30 or so odd jumps isn’t the end of the world, and quite frankly, my need for ‘perfect rounds’ or flawless jumps is unrealistic and damaging – I’m saying this, she didn’t.

So we screw up and make mistakes- that is how we learn and how we change. Oats certainly didn’t hold it against me- he was a bit hesitant the next fence, but on the firm second try he was totally game. What an honest pony!

Sometimes he can be a saint and sometimes a devil- I need to trust him to make the right decisions.

And that brings me to today- not sure what kind of ride I might plan for tonight, but I’m going to take it a bit easier after our jump lesson last night. I don’t think it was particularly strenuous, but it was kind of a tough mental game for me- they always are.

I also worked quite hard on going into my jump lesson with a ‘neutral’ attitude – not grouching and not complaining about the jump heights- and did it work? Ha, sort of? I do still feel like i’m ”faking it” a bit but I am honestly trying to make changes in my mindset and my body. I also tried to make a real effort to breathe more (this happened in my warmup, not so much in my actual jump course, ooooops).

Though I did NOT say anything about the jump heights- even when they got bumped up to the ‘vaunted heights’ of 2’3”! OOohhh ahahhaha.

Go us!

Movie review: American Ultra

Woah…

After watching an advance screening of this flick, all I can say is that I did not expect Jesse Eisenberg to be in quite the hardcore ‘shoot ’em up’ movie, that was also a comedy?

Don’t be fooled- he’s still funny and the film has some very hilarious moments- also poignant ones- but the action/adventure is heavy at times, and the violence is of the super close up camera angles with blood splattering style. Which I am personally not opposed to, but I was just surprised at the over-the-top gun fights!?

I did find it interesting that Eisenberg’s character Mike suffers from phobias and panic attacks that leave him unable to get on an airplane, or drive beyond the city limits, and this is all due to government-implanted thoughts in his brain (so, brainwashing). It made me wonder that if it kind of washes out the real issues people have with those things, and real panic attacks/anxiety that people get, normal every day people who aren’t secret sleeper agents who have these phobias planted in their brains to protect them…They don’t get an ‘easy out’ quite like Mike did?

But anyways it’s a fun action flick, I kind of wanted to shake Mike when he started fizzing out at his ‘girlfriend’/handler when she tries to tell him the truth and he loses his shit. Why didn’t he want to hear the truth from someone who gave up everything to be with him?

That was a part of the movie I didn’t necessarily agree with, but it did play into his character’s latent paranoia.

If you liked Pineapple Express you’ll like this one- though I do think it is better! You have to be ready to watch some really splashy shoot-out scenes and unmitigated hand-to-hand fighting involving a frying pan, spoon, can of tomatoes and a bag of frozen hamburgers.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

“Don’t do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts.”

Dressage lesson recap:

In short, better than last week but still quite a challenge.

We worked on some brief lateral work to get Oats listening and get him to pay attention to my aids, rather than flipping his head around and fluffing up and down with me. It was only when I ‘got serious’ about it – and frankly, kind of annoyed and mad- did he settle and go, oh ok mom!

Calm

In his defense, I’m pretty sure he had a nasty bot fly basically hassling him my ENTIRE ride, because when I got off, there it was, buzzing around him and when I was brushing him off, he was freaking covered in bot fly eggs?!!

There must have been an effing thousand of them? It took a good long while to painstakingly scrape them off my poor horse. Jesus. I did manage to kill the freaking thing though- it was the only option, as it would not leave Oats alone!

I have NEVER had a problem with bot flies before this, and now, in the span of 1 lesson, he was covered in the eggs. SHeeeeesh!

Anyways, that may have contributed to his fizzy attitude towards work…He just seemed quite reactive, a bit sparkly and jazzy and he DID NOT want to cooperate at times. Hilariously, when we were doing a bit of side-pass, Karen said ok a few more steps and then straight- and Oats going fabulously! Until she said that and he immediately started flipping his head, and going backwards.

Sigh…

So, we had hit his limit for side pass steps, apparently!

We had to return to this exercise a few times when he felt like he could blow through my hands/aids at the trot and start being a little twit. It was a way to bring him down, get him focused, and then go back to the trot exercise, and for me, it felt like a good way to not ‘buy into’ his drama when he was getting antsy and prancy.

So, we did end up getting some really nice stretchy trot work, but not without a lot of work on mine and Oats’ part–though I have to say, it took less time and a lot less work than last week, sooo…Success?? Ha.

At least I didn’t have to canter/gallop him in a ‘must outlast’ test of endurance. Now that lesson, I did not want to have a repeat of, hahaha.

Setbacks and Advancements: Weekend Recap

Weekend recap:

Friday night: Had a great (and mostly free!!) time at Lighthouse Brewery’s open house BBQ- got tix for a free beer and a burger, and the rest of the beers were $4…So no reason not to have more, haha. AND their new rhubarb beer is amazing, I had it twice. Good food, good beer and good friends- who could want more?

Seems legit.

I even won a door prize- $10 to Hanks BBQ joint downtown. Hilarious eh? I did question if it was real…

Saturday: Woke up feeling less than spectacular. Apparently more beers don’t really agree with me anymore, particularly when I have a jumping lesson! I felt so draggy and tired and out of it. Lucky for me, Oats brought his A-game and was a star! We worked on the gymnastic line (not set high though, prob only to 2’4” or 2’6” ish) and then added on to the course, which I wanted to bail after once because, hello, tired…But then took a break and did it again, even better! Go us!

Sunday: Rode Oats in the morning and he was good! We did a fair amount of cantering, circles, large, more circles, and I was quite pleased with him. I then jogged downtown with my husband to go watch our friend in his dragonboat race- we missed the race but managed to catch up with him later, so that was a win! We even got some free pizza slices courtesy of Dr. Oetker’s travelling van, and it was sooo good. Wrapped up the afternoon by running out to Songhees and back, and then home…And my knee didn’t make it.

Shit shit shit

I couldn’t run anymore, and we ended up having to walk home. I could feel pressure building under my kneecap and my kneecap was shifting too much and it hurt quite a bit. ARGH. Setbacks…

I hope it is temporary! I iced my knee at home, and worked through my exercises. I have also made another appt. to talk about it with my knee doctor.

We then headed out to pick some blackberries and it was significantly less joyous than it has been- the blackberries seemed to be out for blood! And they were either overripe or red on one side. Gah!

But, we finished the day with a lovely dinner, and I really enjoyed my weekend of not blasting off to another race or travelling to anywhere. Sometimes you just need a weekend at home, I guess!

An addiction to power?

Had another equine counseling session last night (and moved my jump lesson to Saturday, as Oats was feeling tired during my friend’s lesson on him on Wed. – probably due to the strenuous dressage lesson we had on Tues).

And, it came out that maybe I ride because I like being powerful, having power, and being able to exercise that power.

And I say- yes that is definitely something that resonates strongly with me.

It is addictive to feel like you can control a 1,000 lb animal- and I get really wrapped up in trying to ‘muscle’ Oats sometimes, which by the way, I NEVER win, hello he weighs like 900 lbs~

I reiterated that I feel like maybe I’m not making progress, but apparently my jumping lessons are saying otherwise. Can progress feel faked or false? Maybe. I still go into my lessons amped up and anxious, but I am noticing that I can bring it down much faster, and the jumps themselves…Well, they are all a learning process. Some ugly, some ‘meh’ and some great, and some good. It all comes out in the wash. Just because they aren’t 100% perfect or flawless rounds doesn’t mean the entire session was a bust!

So, watching my friend ride gave me some of that perspective- her ride was good, but that doesn’t mean it was perfect. Sure they kind of took down some fences in the gymnastic, but you know what it showed me? That other people can have that type of ride on Oats, it’s not all my fault, and they survive and go on to have great jumps too! It’s not a disaster like I always think.

They did have some ugly fences, and they also had really good ones. The last course was lovely! I was very pleased to see him work in a ‘grown up’ mind frame, and his attitude towards other riders and actually working is sooooooo much better now.

So, I hope to go into my next jump lesson with more of an open mind, and not let my brain/anxiety get ahead of me and start anticipating bad things happening- and also not tell my coach immediately that I only want to jump small jumps, hah.

We’ll see!

Are you gonna whine, or win?

Had a solo dressage lesson yesterday due to my lesson mate having to take some time off- I don’t normally welcome privates for dressage because of a few factors…

a. they cost more- $35 for a semi-private and $50 for a private

b. I have to work my freaking ass off in them, and nobody else is around to deflect the laserbeam of intensity off me!

So…Not always thrilled to do privates but yesterday I faced it head on. As I mention in my header (stolen from watching Wet Hot American Summer last night, ha), it’s one way or the other. Excuses or results.

Not so relaxed

And I, after bravely conquering a mountain this weekend, am ready for results! A win! Except maybe my attitude was the biggest win, and the lesson itself maybe wasn’t quite the win I was looking for. We rode in the outdoor, and the lesson objective became painfully clear: Break the concrete pattern that Oats and I have so lovingly developed over the years.

Easy, right?

Well remember that bit about concrete?

I worked him large for a bit, getting his attention and his ‘forward’ through the spooky side of the arena. It was actually fairly successful, and I was feeling like hey I can do this. We then worked on a circle at the far end of the arena on getting a few simple (note I keep saying simple, not easy) items:

1. Forward
2. Bend
3. Direction
4. Supple

And proceeded to not get any of those for literally minutes at a time. Yeah it sounds dramatic but sheesh I was working my ass off and Oats was going- NOPE! I’d get forward and then some bend, and then he’d root rudely or throw his head up. Or he’d offer to canter, and he would try literally anything to get me to pull him back and get him to stop.

What was particularly telling was when Karen was saying in a few I could walk…I didn’t even ask for it yet, and Oats reverted from his actually pretty nice work to being a total jackass immediately. Head tossing, hopping, throwing his shoulder out, rooting…ARGH.

So, yeah the walk part didn’t get to happen for another, oh, 20 minutes of sweaty torture? I was like seriously horse? I was done 20 minutes ago? Give ME a break! But this part, was the important part- the ‘not giving up’ part. Oats was frustrated that he thought we could go into our ‘normal’ pattern, where I would walk, and we would take a break. So he took it upon himself to try to ‘force’ me into walking before I even asked.

And to that I say- Good day sir, I don’t think so!

We went back to canter, then trot, then more canter, then trot…It was exhausting. I was sweating from my ears, literally. Oats had rivulets of sweat running down his forehead, flanks, back. He was literally trying to endure me out, and see if I gave in first! Well, two can play at this game, and I wasn’t worried, just kind of annoyed…So we kept going and going, until we got some nice, honest and good work from Oats.

Then I immediately came down to walk, and we left it on that note. I was still in awe of his lasting power- who knew that when he was really trying to force the issue, he could go- and GO very strongly- for that long? Not me?!!

Long held patterns are sure hard to break. I am chipping a tiny corner off with yesterday’s lesson.

“I wish I could recommend the experience of not being killed to everyone” Gut Buster Mt. Washington Race Recap!

And another quote by the esteemed Tim Kreider.

Yes I’m wearing my barn jacket. My other one was soaked through!

But on to the race!

The Gut Buster Mt. Washington…dun dun dun!

Yes, this one was not recommended by my husband, and I deliberately avoided talking about it at work or to anyone because I knew they would tell me I was making a bad decision. I have a bad kneecap and it gives me trouble and running down a suicide hill would definitely count as making a terrible decision.

So, I just didn’t mention it, and I ran it on Saturday.

And was it a bad decision? Nope! Would I do it again? Very debatable…

It was tough. It was rough. Am I glad I did it? Hells yeah!

The first inkling of trouble was when we got to the ski hill and it was absolutely freezing, pissing down rain and blasting wind. I started shivering immediately and my teeth were chattering. I signed up for this? WTF? I felt sorry for the poor volunteers at the registration tables, those folks looked absolutely frozen. It was, according to the Mt. Washington sign, 11 deg at the base of the mountain. BRrrrrrr.

Keeping in mind it is August, and everywhere else it was 20 deg and if not sunny, then only mildly rainy. Jesus.

The race director- who is a total moviestar- spent a lot of time warning us about the hazards on course…slippery rocks, lots of rocks, rain, wind, steep conditions, ”scrambling” sections, oh and the course that was going to be 6km is now 8.5km- yayyyy…????? In my mind I was like oh god, there goes my pride and all of my bones right now. What kind of stupid impulse made me sign up for this freezing torture?

Anyways, before I could back out, we were out and running up the hills. For awhile I was feeling ok- I was passing people, feeling good, kind of smug really about passing even though I started at the bottom of the pack. Then we all kind of had to backtrack because everyone got lost immediately and missed the first of the flags. Whoops!

So, on we went until we reached 3km of the supposedly 5km uphill- that’s when the bad boys really started, and everyone was walking/trudging grimly uphill. This is when it started feeling less like a race, and more of a trudge, ha.

We got to a peak (note- I said ‘a peak’ not ‘the peak’ or ‘the summit’) and I was thinking oh yeah great, this is going well! Until we kept going and I noticed we weren’t going downhill. We were going up again…to the next peak.

Uh oh…

I gamely jogged across a really bizarre foot path of sorts made of huge boulders -slippery- and then trudged up some truly difficult scrambling sections. I was using momentum to heave myself up the scramble, wedging my foot in a rock, grabbing for a chunk of root or juniper bush to crawl up higher. At one point my foot slipped and I almost fell butt-first into the face of the guy following closely behind me. Phew, close one!

Then I felt good, ok that MUST be it!

We were even going a bit downhill…And then..back uphill?

Yeah, the run wasn’t done with me yet. At the brief downhill section, I got passed by everyone. I suck at going downhill, and rock at going uphill. And now we were really and truly heading to the summit. Cold wind and rain blasted us tirelessly, and we were socked in fog. It was a eerie experience, and I was all alone. It felt like I was the last person left on earth, running through a frozen apocalypse!

I kept going, and kept my head to the ground. I couldn’t see well because the rain was fogging my eyes, and the wind was making me tear up. That was when I missed the pink flags and cruised for awhile on a road. I enjoyed the cruise downhill until I noticed a suspicious lack of flags. Curses! I saw a guy quite a way away to my right running through a meadow and I shouted to him if he saw the flags- he yelled back yes!

I had to backtrack to the meadow, and I picked up the flags again. And I got passed by a few more people…Darn those downhill sections, I have to be the only person that can’t deal with it!

I jogged, walked and slipped my way down the mountain. Lots of small slippery rocks made it tricky, there were a few little boards over running water, and some logs just waiting to grab your ankles. Still, I was keeping at it.

And then, I cruised the final small gentle rise and headed down to the finish line. It was in sight! I have to say, this was the first race I’ve had enough energy to wave at Ian when I ran through the gates, haha. Cold, soaked and happy, I was glad to be done my first and only trail run up a mountain.

We both finished with respectable times, Ian finished 7th and I finished 4th in our ages groups. Ian even won the last door prize- a really sweet Nike running shirt!