Just finished Jay McInerney’s Bright Lights Big City and the headline above is the final lines in the book.
And, I really liked it! The character at first didn’t call to me at all. I didn’t have sympathy for him at all…Until I did. As he says, there is a certain shabby nobility in failing all by yourself. It was then I could identify with his character, in delayed mourning and not dealing with life, at all.
After my frustrations of recent, I was in a bad mood yesterday. I was feeling lost, adrift, feeling like I was paying through the nose to either stay where I was or even move backwards. And don’t get me wrong, it is a TON OF MONEY. Horses=$$$$$$ eating machines.
But, as I was grousing and cranking at my husband about all of it- Oats suddenly being a total dink to ride in the outdoor arena, the spooking, the running backwards, the being an asshole in my dressage lesson, all of it…He was like well, that is not a bad problem to have.??
And I was like, well, what? I HATE riding my horse right now?! We’re not even showing and I like riding him LESS. WTF?
He said good, you’re not showing. That takes the pressure off! Do what you enjoy doing, leave the bad stuff behind. Don’t deliberately engage in fights or pressure or stress. So the outdoor is causing you trouble? Don’t ride in it, ride in the field and have more fun. He didn’t say this also, but I am going to get some more gutsy, capable riders to do a few training rides on Oats, to kindly ‘remind’ him about who is the boss here too…I feel better when I have more support and help. I’m not alone in dealing with a tricky pony.
And so, I thought you’re right. I’m not showing. What’s the big deal? I can ride in the field too and have fun!
So, yesterday I took Oats and we cruised up and down the field. Still the right lead was not pretty, and not happening much, but that wasn’t a biggie for me anyways. We cantered long, we cantered up a hill, we trotted around, up and down the hill, and everywhere!
I was actually grinning. Yeah!
I have a jump lesson tonight, and you know what? We will just have to see.